Deadly alliance
by Theleafylord
Summary: Sequel to Fall of the sea god. Before just about everything, Kronos betrayed Oranos, and the strained ones first appeared. Now, they're back, and they want the future. Of course, so does Percy. Not book 3 compliant.
1. Dookie!

**Dookie!**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain.**

Hi! My name is Percy Jackson. Now, I'm part of something called "An immortal family with issues" basically that means you can be grounded for a hundred years. Last year wasn't a good one. My dad was killed, an evil titan almost killed me and all of western civilization is to be destroyed. Now that's okay and everything but you see, there's a chance that I good be killed. The odds and massive advertising agencies are against me, but I'll be fine. I always am. Back to my life!

"Perseus, pay attention!" snapped my teacher, snappishly. Her name was Ms. Nullwin. No, I don't see a pun anywhere either. She insisted on calling all the students by our full names.

"Sorry Miss, but your mind numbingly boring." I said before I could stop myself.

"Perseus, what did you just say?" asked Ms. Nullwin in her voice. How else would she ask it?

"Miss, but you said honesty is a virtue." I said. "Unless you're now insinuating that you were wrong when you said that, I have now idea how I upset you."

Miss Nullwin sighed. "Percy you just don't understand. People are supposed to sacrifice virtues to appear polite. Didn't your mother explain this to you? Like when she tells friends of your father who walked out on her, they sympathize instead of lecturing her on one night stands." said Miss Nullwin. You're probably thinking my teacher is a monster. You are wrong. I once swung her with Riptide and it went right threw. Of course, I probably should have checked which teacher I was slicing, but yeah. Anyway, she was just your average teacher, slightly more interesting than Heaphsteus. Anyway, before our civil verbal war could continue, the bell rang.

My new school was different. St.Jimmy's gave me a glowing, literally, letter of recommendation. They were so desperate to get rid of me. My new school was called Barklin high. There were three groups of people. The "cool" kids, the punks and the jocks. I fell into the punk category. By default. Stupid swim team.

"Hello, Percy." said Josh. "Last day of school and everything that entitles." he said, hands shaking wildly. "Then we're like, in higher education. Then the chicks will dig us." A note on Josh. He was completely insane, and just about the only friend I had at the school. "But man, I really need a girl." said Josh. "I mean I'm desperate. Look at my fucking hands! They've already got deep, like grooves in them!" he said gesturing wildly at his hands which were overly hairy. He had to shave once a week .Don't ask.

"Yeah." I said. "One day left. Now all ye gods, let's see you mess it up for me this time!" I yelled up at the sky. On my loudest. Man, you will not believe the staring.

"Yo, Jack' Mac Wack." said Rudolph, the leader of me and Josh's number one enemy circle of friends things. The leader of the hip hop listening, R en B worshipping brand name wearing, people like entities who dominated the "cool" crowd. "What you and Josh Mac Toss doing this holiday? Wait ,wait, nothing right?" he asked, looking like he was constipated.

"We're going to start by ripping your throats out and dancing merrily as you bleed." said Josh, walking forwards. I grabbed him quickly.

"No, Josh, it's not worth it. There's no way in hell you're going to remember this tomorrow!" It was true. Or was it a clever ruse? Read on, and find out!

"Ah," said Jake, Rudolph's left hand guy. "You do like copping feel's of each other right?" he asked, and they broke out in overly faked laughter.

"At least my mom isn't overly friendly with the local postman." said Josh, staring at Jake. 

"Stop lying you bastard!" yelled Jake, turning green in the face. Yep, imagining an postman and your enemy's left hand guy, you get the picture. Hey! An accidental pun.

"I'm not lying." said Josh. "My dad is the postman." Hands up! Who did not see that coming?

"It's not that Josh." I said. "You are supposed to call him the mail person. Otherwise it could be seen as politically incorrect."

Rudolph grimaced. "You're not worth our time. Excuse us, legions of losers." he said and walked off.

"My name is Jonathan, call me!" I yelled after them. They started running faster.

"But, like what are you going to do, this summer?" asked Josh blinking while staring at the sun. Yep, he was definitely going to wrinkles. Then again, who cares?

"I'm going to summer camp." I said. "Called, uh, camp half wit. It's for the mentally brilliant."

"Makes sense." said Josh. "I'm flying to the colonial island of Australia."

"They're still colonial?" I asked. Time to see through the murky waters of the river of thoughts that flow through Josh's mind.

"Man, I have less than no idea. I don't even now where I'm right now. Who are you anyway?" asked Josh. You would think that Josh was a half blood, and that's why we were friends. You're wrong. Josh was still trying to figure out why other people don't just read the manual when they try to set their VCr or DVD clocks. He has failed to realize that intelligence, just can't compete with pure stupidity.

"Right. I'll see you whenever then." I said.

"Right, you evil stalker! Why are you part of my cell phone background?" asked Josh.

"Josh, that's a puddle on the ground. We're both reflected in it." I said.

"Don't get technical on me." snapped Josh. "I'll see you, when the winds of fate dictate we should see each other next. Tune in next time!" said Josh and walked off. He often walked out in the middle of school. The teachers didn't really mind. Once, the teachers announced we were having a bake sale. Josh's response? "Can I please bring a five dollar note?" No, I do not understand it either.

Mrs. Nullwin walked up to me. "So Josh is playing truant again, Perseus." she asked, with that unflatteringly ugly but oh so tantalizing eyebrow wiggling. Damn. I've been spending way too much time with Josh.

"Perseus, you have visitors at the office. Your mom and a person I believe is to be called Alexis." said Mrs. Nullwin. Yep, she got married in the five minute space that me and Josh were talking. People gallivant way too much in these dark times. It's times like these when you really hope she didn't marry Alex.

"Yes misses, uh what's your surname now miss?" I asked. You had to get these things out of the way.

"Bush, dear." said Mrs. Bush. Oh fuck. This not going to end well.

"Hi, Percy." said Alex when I entered. He wasn't in his usual form. At the moment he looked twenty, maybe twenty three.

"Hello, Mr. Hemmingfield." I greeted him courtesy. Man, I have no idea what I'm thinking. " I trust I find you well?"

"Yes, Mr. Jackson." said Alex. "I must say, your manners are flourishing. And they're getting better."

"Thank you. It's part of my overall scheme to improve my social skills." I said.

"You know those things look hideous on you right?" asked my mom. Okay, enough confusion. More fusion! Because to be a con is to be wrong!

"Perseus." said Mrs. Bush. "Your mother and mister Hemmingfield have arrived to take you to summer camp. According to Mr. Hemmingfield the fate of the free world depends on you getting out of this facility. Frankly, I just can not see a reason to allow it." said Mrs. Bush. Damn! What she said contained fractured logic mixed with no meaning what so ever! Why does this seem so familiar?

"Land sakes, girl!" yelled Alex. "Where's your civic pride and patriotism?"

"Uh, very few people are still patriotic." I said. "I mean, even me, the epitome of American citizen still calls French fries French fries." It was true. I almost got arrested seven times but it was fine.

"Mr. Jackson you have no reason to interfere. I still lack-

"Mrs. Bush." said Alex, and this was it. I mean Alex was now officially pissed off. His hair turned to fire, long black wounds went through his arms and ignited. Fortunately Alex had anticipated that Zeus would choose this time to try and kill me. Unfortunately the final battle between myself and the foul beasts summoned will be in front of my algebra teacher. No, she did not teach Jeff. Anyway, I was hoping it would be in front of the gym teacher so that I could claim extra credit, but what the hell.

"Uh, Mrs, Bush, since when did you have those lethal looking claws?" I asked, feigning politeness. You could tell I was faking due to the dirty thoughts that were running through my head. Also, the person who thought was Mrs. Bush when I did the slash test was obviously someone in disguised as her.

"Fool!" yelled Mrs. Bush. "I am not a mere teacher! I am the Sphinx!"

"What, you're the cat like thing that kills all who can't answer its unthinkable riddle?" asked Alex, who reverted to normal.

"Correct! Yelled the Sphinx and grabbed me. A few words on her current appearance. Her hair had turned to a sort of solid crown, while she had a body made out of hardened granite. Her face was made out of what appeared to be asphalt. Well, it definitely wasn't my fault. "Answer my riddle Prometheus, or the kid gets it!" said the sphinx threateningly.

"You know, it would be a lot easier if I could just bribe you." said Alex. Hmm. I wonder what price I would reach?

"No deal Prometheus." said The sphinx. Damn! I wanted to see an economically based argument decide my fate.

"All right, fine." said Alex. "But I warn you, I've been playing trivial pursuit with Hades for the past three months."

"It matters not." said the sphinx. "Now, here is the riddle. If a traditional pop star icon gets flattened by a tree in a forest, and only one recorder records his or her dying screams, how high on the billboard charts will his or her dying screams go once they've been remixed?" Damn! It's either seventy five or forty seven. Which one will Alex choose?

"Search your feelings Alex." I said. "You'll know the answer to be correct when you stumble upon it." Was that a confident booster, or a clever ruse? You decide.

"Duh." said Alex. "The answer is number seventy three. Only a complete idiot wouldn't know that." Now I feel saved, and insulted.

"Dammit!" yelled the sphinx. "Cause I have to die now." she said and dropped me. I uncapped Riptide and swung it in an arch. The sphinx lost half her grade average and half her body. Ha Ha. Some wittiness over there.

My mother stared at me from the corner. Now, a word about my mother. A. That's enough about my mother for now, thank you. "Percy." she said, in the sad tone she usually had when it was time for us to say goodbye. "We have to go. The war, it's getting worse."

"What?" I asked. "Who is it getting worse? We still have cable right?" I asked.

"Percy, you don't understand." said Sally Jackson. "You have to go and help now. He's, he's entered the war against Zeus."

"Who's entered the war? I thought we were fighting immortal? Are there even more of them?" I asked.

"Not that, Percy." said Alex. "It used to be Poseidon against Zeus. Sky against sea. But now, now Zeus thought he would be able to bring Kronos back no problem. Unfortunately, Hades has taken up the fight. Now, it's death against sky, and as you may have guessed, Hades fights dirty." Okay. I'd hate to be in a morgue right now.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Your mother is going to say goodbye, to you, and I'm going to go and help Thalia. She's going to be attacked soon. You, have to go help Annabeth. These monster attacks are getting worse." said Alex, sighing.

My mother took me by the shoulders. "Percy." she said, rushing her words, uh, word. "Promise me you won't get suicidal. I heard what you did on the two fifty foot cliff." Damn! So Alex is a squealer... that is tricky. How do you deal with a squealer who is immortal? It's a tough one, but I would suggest you keep the cards low so that no one else can see what he is getting in his hands, otherwise he might take it personally. "Percy, I'm sorry about telling you your father is the traitor, but he told me too!" she said suddenly. Man, if this was bad for me, I wonder how bad it is for my mother. She kept asking me how I felt, if everything was alright, if I would turn off the Offspring songs already. But then again, she handled it pretty well. "Percy." she said. "Promise me you'll be alright." she said.

"I'll be fine." I said, hugging my mom. "I always am." Ha! Indecent opportunity to use my catch phrase!

"We have to go." said Alex. "Now." He said, consulting his cell phone. "Hades says that he can hold out for about three more hours. Of course, he also says if we don't get moving immediately he's going to kill us all and send his undead hordes across the lands, spreading pestilence, death and the common cold." Woah! I better hurry then.

"Bye, Percy." said my mother.

"Sorry about this, Mrs. Percy's mom." said Alex. "But Zeus attacked early. We thought he would attack later. We even ordered pizza so we could give Percy a proper send off to his heroics."

" Hypothetically, would the pizza have had avocado's on it?" I asked.

"Yes." said Alex. "We even delivered a shipment to ensure there would be enough."

"That gray haired thunder wielding bastard." I said. "Now, it's officially personal."

"Uh, wasn't it personal when he tricked you into killing your own father?" asked Alex.

"Yes, but that was in the long run." I said. "Now, it's more like a sprint."

"I hate to interrupt." said my mom. "But Percy' train leaves in four minutes."

"Holy myself!" yelled Alex. "We've gotta get out of here!" He grabbed me and my mother and flew out of the room. Remember the missing teacher would raise suspicion, and there was only one day of school left, so Alex set the school on fire. Yes, now we can really worship him like a god.

"Holy shit!" yelled Josh, who was standing next to a bunch of guys, smoking something. "My friend just flew past here, along with the Greek titan Prometheus who wields fire!" Woah! He knows his mythology! Also pie.

The guys standing around him looked at his other. "I think I'm going to quit this. We are ruining ourselves." he said, looking at the other with puppy dog eyes.

"Ha! Ha! Flying titan." said Josh and fell on the ground. Hmm. That proves a point, but I don't know what it is.

"Here's your stop." said Alex. "It's a train station. See, those train tickets are going to come in handy!" Damn! The plot is now officially thicker than water!

When I say Alex dropped me off, I mean he literally dropped me off. It hurt the poor Grecian tourist who was under me. Coincidence? I think not! But I say yes. I walked calmly in, and used my ticket to gain entrance to the vaunted seats of the train. I began a journey, a journey, to Annabeth's house. Isn't that unexpected?

Two hours later... I'm still in a train.

An hour later...my stop. Time to get off. I took a cab towards a house that my instinct told me was Annabeth's house. Then I took another cab after I checked her address. I walked down the pathway, the pathway to the door. Man, there's got to be a better way to tell you this, but I knocked on the door. Someone answered. Annabeth's evil step mom.

"Who are you?" said Annabeth's evil step mom. She was kind of like the complete opposite of Athena, without being ugly. Or a man. She had long black hair, red lips and hazel eyes. Her tone said, leave before I call the cops, but her body said fuck off and die half blood. Not the kind of motherly figure any little girl should have.

"I'm Perseus." I said. "I'm back from the dead to woo your step daughter." Okay, I have no idea where that came from.

"I told that- that girl that none of these freaks are to-" began her step mother angrily.

"I'm just kidding." I said. "I'm actually the modern day son of Poseidon. The fate of the entire western civilization hangs on my shoulders. Do you feel better now?"

Her entire face twisted into an expression of the utmost horror and fear. "You mean, that only you can save us?" she asked. I nodded. "We're all doomed." she said. "I better sell off the old antiques then."

"Mom." said a familiar voice. A voice that sounded...familiar. "Who's at the door?" It was Annabeth. "Percy!" she yelled, and jumped into my oh so beautiful arms.

"Who's here?" asked Annabeth's dad, who walked out into the scene. "Oh." he said looking at me. "Annabeth, we've talked about this. I know you don't mean it but you and your friends endanger us all..." Oh, that pissed me off.

"So you went from a goddess to this." I said, pointing at Annabeth step mom. "I would say that's a step down, but it's more like a two fifty foot plummet." Oh, now that broke the ice.

**Rewiev Responses! **

**Bloomingauthor7: Who know what thoughts run through Percy's young mind?**

**The Oracular Fox: It has happened. **

**Hank.R.Williams: In case you're wondering, I change your name every time in an attempt to keep your identity safe. **

**A Great and terrible beauty: Yes, I have been known to help the furry little creatures who scour our planet.**

**Firemasteyjy: Sometimes, I just can't think of a response. So, don't read this part. **

**Author's Notes: I must apologize for the delay in posting this so called story. But, my mom recently got me a copy of Terry Prachetts "Thief in time" and I've been hooked ever since. I'll try to update more, but I got seven more Disc worlds books at the library, and I still have two to go. In any case, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! **


	2. Magical, Egotistical step mother

**Magical, Egotistical step mother**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain.**

Sometimes I just sit and wonder how the gods are able to get a mortal to fall in love with them, and then just leave them as if nothing ever happened. Of course, it's exactly what Zeus wanted. He knew eventually a child would be born. A child who has a grudge against the Olympians. A child who could overthrow his enemies, and be killed off easily. Luke. Luke hated the gods who manipulated him. He hated them because they manipulated him, and they manipulated him so that he would hate them. It's a vicious circle. One that took years to perfect. Back to my life!

"Uh, Percy, I don't think that was a good idea." said Annabeth. Her eyes were silently pleading with me. I found myself lost within them, still not bothering to try and figure out what she was saying.

"Who's at the door mom?" asked a small girl. Maybe eight or seven. She looked like Annabeth, but lacked her goddess like beauty. Or my god like looks.

"Your sister's friend Percy." said Mrs. Annabeth's step mom coldly. "They were just leaving." She assumes too much. But I can't afford to be rude. I only have five bucks on me.

Annabeth looked at me. "Percy, do we have to go to camp early?" she asked.

"Yeah." I said. "Alex said something about attacks and the war causing all kinds of trouble, and we have to go stop it." I said.

"How are we going to get to camp?" asked Annabeth. Oh crap. My plan was flawed. I didn't have any excess train tickets. This was going to be awkward.

"Uh, Alex didn't say he just- Yes. Unfortunately I was cut off at that point. Cause see, Alex, crash landed on their lawn, his entire body coated in flames. Hell. That ruined the garden, the pool, the footpath, the car, the driveway, the road the car was standing on, all the paintings that were hanging behind Annabeth's family, all the windows, the window frames and the houses foundations. Man. I hate to think what that does to the resale value.

"Sorry, I'm late." said Alex. "I got sidetracked." Whoa! Annabeth's small family sure wasn't use to powerful deities crashing on to their front lawn. He looked around at the destruction he had caused. Man, this was age of mythology all over again. "I hope the insurance guys pay up."

"Who are you?" demanded Annabeth's evil step mom. You could tell she was evil because she didn't even greet Prometheus. He crashed out of the air on fire, but do they ask him if he's okay? No, they just assume too much again.

"I'm Prometheus Mrs. Chase." said Alex. "Supreme lord of fire and civilization. Also the most creative titan ever. You may bow to me now." The just stood stock still. Didn't even crane their heads. The bastards. Wait! Alex discovered Annabeth's step mom's surname. It was also Annabeth's surname! What the hell was going on here?

"You're wait." said Mr. Chase. "I thought you were chained to a rock while an eagle eats your liver." Oh, that's gotta sting. Mythology is still a prime interest in Mr. Chase's house. It would seem from Mrs. Chase evil glare that she does not approve of this. It would also seem that I'm becoming a narrator instead of these being my personal thoughts.

"I used to be." said Alex. "But Zeus's powers started weakening so I was able to be freed." It's times like these when you wonder how they are taking this so calmly. Sure, I was used to Alex, but normal people? Okay. Me and Alex haven't met any normal people yet but if we did I sure as hell won't know how he will react.

Mrs. Chase also known as Annabeth's evil step mom, glared at her husband, also known as Annabeth's father. Man, I would not want to be him when we leave. Annabeth looked up at them. "Uh, Mom and dad, do you mind if we leave?" she asked.

"Of course not." said Mrs. Chase, smiling for the first time since we arrived.

"Time to go then." said Alex. He put me and Annabeth on his shoulders. I might say that at the moment he was around 6 foot seven. He started flying upwards. Or levitating. Or falling upwards.

"Mommy, he's flying!" screamed Annabeth's half sister.

"Didn't your sister tell you?" asked Alex. "I can do anything!" He snapped his fingers. All the afore mentioned damaged things repaired themselves. Except the car. "Sorry about that. But I don't do cars. Or paintings. Or windows" he suddenly yelled. And off we flew into the night sky, unaware that it was still five o'clock in the afternoon.

"Alex, uh what was the reason for your, uh landing?" asked Annabeth.

"Oh that." said Alex. "Zeus was trying to electrocute me. I kinda lost control. He's been shooting lightning at me and Hades whenever we leave camp half blood for the past four months. Why do you think we were stuck playing trivial pursuit?" Me and Annabeth exchanged glances. She got my peculiar one and I got her worried glance.

"Uh, Alex, does that mean that Zeus is going to start blasting us with thunder anytime now?" I asked. I like a good shock, but not in _that_ way.

"Relax Percy" said Alex. "You're his meal ticket. He won't risk blasting you to Tartuarus." Great. Now I'm a figure of speech. "Zeus wants to use you to overthrow the gods. And for that, he needs a happy, skipping but most importantly, alive Percy Jackson." Well, that explains things. Alex suddenly picked up the pace, and an hour later, we arrived at camp half blood. "Meet me at the dining pantheon after dinner." said Alex, and put down.

"What's going on Percy? asked Annabeth. Good question. Unfortunately, I plan to respond with my classic answer.

"No idea." I said. "But I have a question. How is the camp safe now that gods are attacking it?" Annabeth looked worried.

"All campers report to the dining pantheon." came a voice over the speakers. "It's dinner time." We left, dutifully, for dinner. Man, I was hungry by now.

"Hi Percy. Hi Annabeth." said Thalia, who was waiting for me at my table. Annabeth went and sat with the Athena campers.

"Greetings children of the gods!" said Mr.D, spreading his arms wide above the pantheon. "You may ask yourself why camp starts early this year. Well, the attacks on half bloods have increased so much that we decided you should move here for your own safety. I know we will all miss the Stoll twins from the Hermes cabin. I also know none of us will miss Stacy Hendricksons from the Aphrodite cabin, because she is, I mean was, a bitch. Thank you!" Wow. Fractured applause from everywhere except the Aphrodite cabin.

"On a lighter note you may notice that at the moment, the camp is defenseless against the monsters who want to kill you, and you will probably all be killed in your sleep. While this may make camp more exciting, it can also greatly reduce the attendance. So we need to turn the Ares cabin members into pine trees to create a new, better magical border." Damn Ares cabin. They started complaining instantly. They are completely unsympathetic to anyone but themselves.

"Mr. D, we could die!" said Clarisse. "And we loose a very valuable part of our lives if we're turned into pine trees." Hmm. Guess the Ares cabin isn't famed for their debating skills.

"You don't have to worry about that." said Mr. D. "I've preformed tests and have noticed that there is only a thirty percent chance that you will die." I like those numbers! When can we start?

The Ares cabin continued to complain. "Look." said Mr. D angrily. "Seventy percent is higher than thirty percent. As you can see, you will be perfectly safe." Unfortunately Mr. D's logic fell on deaf ears. "Does anyone except the Ares cabin have any objections?" asked Mr. D. To everyone's great surprise, I raised my hand. "Yes, Paul?" asked Mister D.

"Hypothetically, if they die, who is going to clean up the bodies?" I asked. Really, stable cleaning is bad enough, but I'm not running a morgue zone.

"What part of seventy is higher than thirty didn't you understand?" asked Mr. D. "And besides, the only way a dead body can harm you is if it falls on you.

"Can't we like, get a disease from working with a dead body?" I asked. These are questions that must be asked.

"We will provide those who have to clear away the rotting remains of the Ares cabin with a hose and a shovel. Okay?" asked Mr. D. Suddenly Alex and Hades entered the scene.

"We've been through this." said Hades. "There's only one alternative. We will need multiple quests if we aren't going to turn the Ares cabin to pine trees. But the quests will be tedious, and many of you can die. In fact, the quest idea sounds good too." said Hades, looking at Mr. D. "Not just the Ares guys go down. Get a bit of variation down in Erebus."

"WE NEED A QUEST! WE NEED A QUEST!" chanted the Ares cabin.

"WE DON'T NEED A QUEST! WE DON'T NEED A QUEST!" chanted the Athena cabin.

"SOD YOU THEN! SOD YOU THEN!" chanted the Ares cabin.

"WE WON'T DIGNIFY THAT WITH A RESPONSE! WE WON'T DIGNIFY THAT WITH A RESPONSE!" chanted the Athena cabin.

"Not a quest." said Alex. "Multiple quests. You'll need to acquire four magical items to strengthen the borders. That, along with the golden fleece, will supply enough magic to power a new and improved border."

"How can anything be new and improved?" asked Hades.

"It basically means that it was an old thing that was remade to be better, so it's different, and not the same. Thus its new." said Alex.

"Oh right." said Hades. "Anyway. You will have to find these four artifacts. Your champions will be decided tomorrow. The four items you will have to find are, number one, Ares' sword. Number two, a bushel of apples from the gardens of Hesperides. Number three, the hinge that Poseidon and Apollo put on Troy's gates. And number four. Athena's staff." Wow. Complete silence. I don't think any of was expecting that.

"Whatever. Either way, plenty of you die, but not enough to cause worry. On with the feast!" said Mr. D. We ate, and everyone talked about the upcoming quest. Except for me and Thalia. We continued our Slipknot versus Nirvana debate. And by the way, Nirvana wins! Whoo hoo! Afterwards we approached Alex.

"Hey guys." he said. He looked each of us over. "Now." he said. "You will be one of the teams who will be sent out to get those items. However, I expect you to get all of them."

"What? Why?" asked Annabeth.

"Because." said Alex grimly. "You guys are the only ones who have the slimmest chance of surviving what is to come."

**Rewiev Responses! Yay!**

**A great and terrible beauty: Or did it?**

**Becky Creighton: The only character who I can confirm will return is Josh. What he thinks is Colonial Australia is actually, well who cares.**

**Firemasterytjy: I have. **

**Henry.L.Fishman. We are going to get hoarse if we continue to scream like this! Yay!**

**Rugbyking007: Unless it falls down.**

**Bloomingauthor7: Yet. Yet. Just kidding. **

**Phyco Girl: I think you misspelled Psycho. But that makes sense.**

**Author Notes: As you may have noted, a plot is slowly unwinding. Alsp, the update time from now on will be random at best. Or worst. You decide. Anyway, as some of you may have noted in the Along comes Mary story, I plan to turn Along comes Mary into a sort of school on how to write Percy Jackson fanfics story. Personally, and if you are in a different state of mind please tell me, I think me and Becky Creighton should be the unwilling teachers. Anywho, the other character I'd like to include are, Henry. L. Fishman, A great and Terrible beauty, Blooming Author Seven and Phsyco Girl plus Firemastertjy. If you don't want to be in the story, just say so and I will leave you out. If you want to be in the story, just tell me and I'll include you. Wow. My notes are long.**


	3. Invading colonial Australia

**Invading colonial Australia **

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain.**

You know, once more my life take a full on RPG turn. But then again, what do you expect. Gods, acquirable magical items. The only thing I can't do is level up. Or record things in a journal. Anyway, we have a treasure drove of magical items to find, and all of them are protected by various protections. Or something like that anyway. Except for Ares' sword. That's just protected by a lone moron. Not me, Ares. Anyway, Back to my life!

"What do you think Alex means?" asked Annabeth. Probably about the whole, everyone is going to die thing.

"It's obvious isn't it?" asked Thalia. "Zeus needs to keep me and Percy alive. So we stand a much smaller chance of dying than the rest." But that begs an important question. How safe is Annabeth then? I didn't say anything though. I didn't want to worry her.

"So watch your backs tonight." I said, walking off to my cabin. "You never know what might sneak into your room for dubious reasons." Annabeth and Thalia stared at me. "I mean monsters." Honest! My intentions are always good and, uh, otherstuff of that kind of nature.

"Oh right." said Annabeth and yawned, She walked towards her own cabin. Thalia also left. A hand grabbed my shoulder.

"We need to talk." said Alex. "It's about me." Okay. This was almost as bad as hearing him say, "it's about us." Which he once did. And our teacher took it the wrong way.

"Percy, I really don't know how to explain this, so I'm just going to. I'm changing."

"Changing? Oh no! You haven't converted to R en B have you? Please, you were our last hope!" I yelled, my voice almost cracking. I've lost too many friends to R en B over the past year. Their was Even, who innocently started listening to Britney Spears. Soon, he changed. And Steven, who was forced to listen to Christina Aguilera by his evil brother. Now, their gone, All gone.

"Percy, it's not that!" yelled Alex, and for the first time since I knew him, he was really angry. "I'm not able to retain myself! I'm a titan in the age of the gods. It's not meant to be."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I mean, if he really wanted to retain himself he should just buy a retainer. Ha Ha! First bad pun of the sequel!

"Percy, the gods were originally also titans. But then I did something really, really stupid." said Alex, looking down. "I wanted people to be able to live and learn and prosper and all that shit. So I flew to the sun. I brought fire down to men. And with it, they started advancing, and getting civilized. However I was chained to a rock while this was going on and a fucking eagle ate my liver every day. So I was looked over as it was." He looked bitter. Well, he had every right to be. But he managed to liver through the horrible situation. Fine. I'll stop the puns.

"I was always something of a loner so it didn't bother me. But the gods, it bothered them alright. When the humans changed the gods changed with them. They become focused in a way, and worshipped. Ares went from the god of problems, or problems with other people to the god of wars. People had invented ways of killing each other on an even greater scale. Aphrodite went from the goddesses of lust, or horniness to the goddesses of love. So I wondered if I was managing to create as much good as evil. But I failed to notice what was really happening." said Alex, sounding as bitter as pure coffee. Yay! Another analogy.

"Humans were changing. And the gods were changing with them. All seemed to match whatever humans expected them to match. And when I was freed, I thought that it wouldn't happen to me. I mean, the humans didn't really bother with the gods anymore. When I was freed, I just, I just wandered around searching for something. I didn't know what. Then I saw a statue of me in Rockefeller Centre. It was pretty accurate but it couldn't completely catch my dashingly good looks. There was even a game called Will Rock based on me. And then. And then, I realized. Humans do not realize it, they do not believe in me, but they remember me. Percy." said Alex, fixing me with a weird stare. "I'm changing to fit the part of modern civilization. Soon, I will be completely different." I realized he had his arms around himself, and he was almost shaking.

"I don't get it. What's so bad about changing?" I asked.

"Percy, this is not a willing change. It's not an exterior change. It's my very personality. Hades matches the human idea of dead, cold and impersonal. Poseidon matched the human idea of the sea, carefree, yet always completely focused on his goal. And Zeus, let's just say Zeus got polluted. And me. Me. I may loose myself." he said. "I'll need you to find me again if I do." He suddenly left before I could say anything else. I have an idea that it was a really personal thing to him. I had no idea what to do next. I went to sleep.

The next morning I went to breakfast, expecting that I would find the damn place in my half awake state. As always, I was right. Oh no. The quest. Their about to be announced. Dammit "Hello, fellow campers!" said Mr. D. looking over at us. " I see most of you are barely awake. This seems to be an excellent opportunity to gives you information vital to your survival. Now, Lord H, shall announce the lucky people who are out to save this slice of paradise! Here's H!"

"Hello mortals." said Hades, smiling brightly. "The following campers are going on a mission to save the camp! You will all see the oracle. But he won't see you, because he doesn't have any eyes. Anyway, representing the Ares cabin, we have Clarrise! Choose two companions and go find Ares's sword. Yay! Stab your own father in the back. And now, representing the Hermes cabin Gregory Smith! And a whoop whoop for him to. Same drill. Choose two people and go get us some golden apples. Representing the Apollo Cabin, we have Lennord finefellow! Same drill. Only you have to steal Athena's staff. Representing the Athena cabin, Annabeth Chase! Don't make me repeat myself, because I will kill you. Go get Troy's gate hinge! Now good luck!" Hades sat. We all waited. "You can go to the Oracle first Annabeth." Annabeth left. Thalia sat down next to me.

"Are you ready for this, Sea weed brain?" asked Thalia.

"I'm always ready, uh head lost in the clouds girl." I answered. Man, I gotta work on my snappy retorts.

"Nice one." said Thalia. "Do you know where the gate hinge is?" Ha! This calls for a lie that'll make me look intelligent despite the fact that it makes no sense what so ever.

"Next to the other half of the gate hinge." I said. Now, wait for it. Oh, there's Annabeth. She walked over to us.

"Guys, we have to go to the Caribbean." she said, and she looked really worried. Has the oracle told her dastardly tales of doom which is to follow? Or does the humidity in the Caribbean fizz up her hair? I need answers dammit!

"The Caribbean?" asked Thalia. "How is that part of America?"

"Wait." I said. "Does this mean there's a modern day version of Troy in the Caribbean? We could have a road trip!"

"To the Caribbean?" asked Annabeth. Man, she sure had hearing difficulties.

"We can just fly." said Thalia. "I'm sure my father wouldn't blast us out of the air." Good point. But at what cost? Airline ticket are expensive and I'm not made of money. I'm made up out bones, flesh, skin and nitrous oxide. Don't ask. It's part of being half a god.

"Where are we going to get the money?" I asked.

"By stealing it." said Thalia. Me and Annabeth stared at her. "Fine. We'll find another way. Wanna go sell camp half blood cookies?" It's amazing the sheer number of things I'm not informed about. Now camp half blood is also selling strawberry flavored cookies. Also choc chip Cyclopes, Mega munches Minnie Minotaurs (Chocolate flavored) and Super sweet Scylla's. (Basically a cookie with a lot of sugar worms sticking out of it.)

"Good idea, but no." said Annabeth. "The camp store will probably be handing out stuff for us." She set off, Thalia not far behind. I pulled Annabeth back slightly.

"Annabeth what did the Oracle tell you?" I asked. "He didn't make a comment about your looks did he? Besides he's blind and you look- Damn. I hate it when she gives me one of those looks and I feel unable to continue.

"Don't worry Percy. We will succeed. It said that much at least." she said and walked farther away. She's hiding something from me. Well, that a question with a duh answer but still. I don't like it.

Hades told us to go get the hinge, and quickly. According to Hades the hinge is going to be used to secure a gate. Well, that is what hinges are for. The sword and staff's power will fortify the gate, while Hades and Alex will use the apples to great and orchard. The power it supplies will then throw up a border, exactly like the one we used to have except this one is half blood friendly.

"Hello, what do you have for us?" asked Annabeth. Argus turned his many eyes on her. I've always wondered how anyone would blindside him. He didn't have to worry about dropping the soap if you know what I mean. Though it's probably better if you didn't.

"Three hundred cheetos courtesy of Lord Prommy." said Argus. Damn. Things were so screwed that even Prometheus changed his name to Alex so we have something we can casually call him. Besides, Mr. P just sounds, I don't know like some sort of toilet cleaner. "Also, Lord H has requested that Thalia takes this sword." He handed Thalia a long blade, with a tightly encrusted hilt. It was meant to be wielded with a shield, like a broadsword, but had far longer reach. How do I think of these things? "The gate hinge is rumored to be guarded by a servant of the sun god. It would be wise to try and beat the shit out of him with caution."

"This is going to be ridiculous." said Thalia.

"We are actually flying?" I asked. "I hate this."

"Come on guys. We have no time to waste." said Annabeth. Or did she?

"If we go on another Pegasus I will kill us all." I said grimly. I meant it. I had a sword and a simple way of using it. Slash at thing you think should cease to exist.

Annabeth and Thalia didn't hear me however. They just walked off towards the road. I followed, loosely carrying a small bag that contained some stuff we had to use. Actually it was just the traditional junk food we lived on during these quests, but what the hell.

"Taxi!" yelled Annabeth. Pity the road was deserted and we were miles from a city.

"Yes." said Alex. "Your plan for getting you there is exactly better than mine. That should tell you how bad my plan is." Oh crap.

"What was your plan?" I asked. "Throw us in the direction of the airport and hope we hit something soft?"

"No." said Alex. "We plan to let you ride this murderous griffin who loves the taste of half blood flesh. Have fun." he said and led a monstrous griffin in front of us. This was not going to end well. Unless we were stopping at a McDonalds. 

"I'm so flying this." said Thalia, awe transparent in her voice. Well, I guess a Griffin did fit into the whole, heavy metal thing.

"One problem." I said. "We want to get there alive. I'm flying." I'm not repeating that Pegasus episode.

"Whatever Sea Weed brain." said Thalia. "You're still not flying the griffin." Now marvel before my brilliant debating skills.

"Not if I get on it first!" I yelled, and jumped on the griffin. Annabeth laughed and jumped on after me. "Hold on unnecessarily tightly." I said. Damn. She saw through my brilliant plan, once again. Or is that a Beatles song? Thalia grumbled and climbed on as well. "Now, let's see if I can- That's what you call a cut off. Meaning the griffin started flying towards what I hope was the Caribbean. He was slimly better than Thalia. At least he didn't seem depressed. Unfortunately he was hungry. Lets just say a golfer got an actual hole in one. In his chest. We flew over the Pacific. Or Atlantic. Or some other ocean.

"Percy are you okay?" asked Annabeth, who's hair did seem to be frizzing. Oh damn.

"I'm fine." I said. "How far are we from the Caribbean?" She didn't answer. She just shook her head and pointed at her ears. Damn wind. Before I knew it, we were in the Caribbean. See, I thought we were still in Continental Mexico. We got off shakily.

"Well, that was... fun." said Thalia. Damn. This girl has weird ways of enjoying her self.

"Right." said Annabeth, who seemed to be nauseated. Man, I didn't think the griffin was that gross.

"Be seeing you guys." said the griffin and flew away.

"He can talk?" I asked. No one answered. I hate no one. He keeps making comments about my hair.

"Do you have any idea what we're supposed to do?" asked Thalia.

"The oracle said something about a friend." said Annabeth, slowly revealing a piece of the information I've been searching for, for oh so long. "That's kinda confused me. I don't know anyone in the Caribbean. Do you?" she asked.

Thalia shook her head. I was about to shake mine when I noticed someone. "This is not colonial Australia." I said. Thalia and Annabeth stared at me. I pointed at a fishmonger. Standing next to him was Josh, in a heated debate. "I suppose he counts as a friend." I said. The afore mentioned debate was heating up.

"I will now use my amazing mental vocabulary to, to, to where the fuck am I?" asked Josh.

"For the forty seventh time!" yelled the fishmonger. "You are in Jamaica! You've been standing at that spot yelling at me for the past three hours!" yelled the fish monger. Man, he has issues.

"I demand that you give me fresh fruit, foul fruit monger!" said Josh, pointing with the finger of rudeness.

"This is a fish stall! It's the forty second time I told you that! If I see a fruit vendor now I'll beat the living shit out of them! Just leave me alone!" yelled the fish vendor.

"Look, we all have issues. But we have to work with them. So give me the fruit and I'll leave you alone." said Josh. Good to see I'm not the only one, who notices issues. Suddenly he turned to me. Our eyes met across an empty street. I hate to think of the romantic consequences.

"Ha! Ha! Tremble all ye mortals!" Yelled Josh. "My friend Percy has come to invade colonial Australia with me!"

"There goes the neighborhood." said the fish vendor irritably.

**Rewiev Responses! Yay!**

**Hellriasers. R. Unlimited: Great ascot! Where do you get these silly notions old boy?**

**A great and terrible beauty: Technically that was a bridge chapter but I never say that a bridge chapter is one unless someone notices the lack of usual writing skill and I say, Oh, that was a bridge chapter.**

**Physco Girl: That was well ordered. Two snaps.**

**Firemasterytjy: I have in fact, done it again. Oops. **

**Rugbyking0418: Thank you. On a lighter note, the WORLD CUP STARTS THIS YEAR! Whoo! Uh, don't read that. **

**Author Notes: While sipping Diet Coke a strange notion has occurred to me. It concerns the matter of E-Mail. I live, well screw where I live, Lets just say I use a close to unique e-mail system. I just don't get any e-mail from The last note I got was confirmation that Fall of the Sea god was posted. So If you replied to my story idea through an e-mail, I didn't get it. Until next time. Yep. Just can't think off a good closing line.**


	4. The fast and the delerious

**The Fast and the delirious **

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain**

How, in Hades' name and garden, did he mistake the Caribbean for colonial Australia?Unless it was part of some evil tourism scheme... but they probably didn't see Josh coming. Otherwise they would've declared a state of emergency. Or war on America. Either way, I think this somehow involves divine intervention. The gods plan of saving us include a guy who struggles to remember which way up a Cd should be inserted. Yep, we are all doomed. Back to my life!

"Uh, Percy, who is this?" asked Annabeth. She looked worried.

"This is Josh." I said. "We met at school. He counts as a sort of friend."

"He's supposed to help us?" asked Thalia. "He looks, sounds and for some reason smells insane." I suppose when he asked for fresh fish at a fruit vendor something strange happened.

"Hi Percy." said Josh, walking closer. "I was conducting at trade with the fruit vendor when I noticed you were here too. Why are you here too?" asked Josh.

Well, no point in beating around the bush. You could hit something. "Josh we need you're help to save the entire Western Civilization." I said. Annabeth groaned. She was obviously not impressed by my subtlety.

"Oh from the gods and all that." he said. Thalia and Annabeth looked at me accusingly. "I figured that out when I saw you and Prometheus destroying the school. By the way, that was awesome!"" said Josh. At least it got me off the hook. "Let's go to my place. We can chill and talk about the fate of the western civilization. I live over there." he said, pointing towards a sort of hotel. Annabeth and Thalia started walking towards it but Josh pulled me back. "Okay, which one is yours? I like blondes but if you're already-

"Shut up, Josh." I said. "These are my friends. We're not about to repeat your previous girl issues." And man, he had issues with them. Let's just say his greeting cards were overly creative.

"Oh come on." said Josh. "Do you have any idea how uptight these Caribbean girls are?"

"I've never been here before." I said. It was true, to the best of my knowledge. He led me up to the hotel. The greeter hid when Josh entered and let us walk in calmly.

"Nice place you have here." said Thalia. Just two days and Josh had already covered every vertical wall with posters, Cd sleeves and Vaseline.

"Josh, how are you taking this so calmly?" asked Annabeth. "Percy was totally freaked out when he learned that there were gods. You just seem to go with the flow." That was true.

"I'm ready for anything." said Josh, calmly undoing his belt. "And by the way, my parents won't be back until seven."

"Josh, in the name of all things fucking holy, keep your pants on." I yelled. Really. You know the truly immortal question, boxers or briefs? Or in Josh's case, neither.

"Fine." said Josh. "But explain this to me. How are you connected to my gods?"

"We're half bloods." said Thalia. "We're half human, half gods. The gods breed us to solve their problems." She said bitterly. Although that accurately reflects Thalia's views, it is wrong. We half bloods are more often the result of love, lust and nectar.

"You're the son of a god?" asked Josh.

"Yeah." I said.

"And you still need my help. I guess that makes you a waste of holy seamen." We All turned to stare at him. "I'm sorry guys but I'm not exactly hero material. I'll probably fuck things up." Okay, we didn't immediately respond. It's kind of hard to respond to that kind of thing.

"Josh." said Annabeth. "Just because you think you can't do something doesn't mean you can't do it. For all you know you might just show us all, and rescue us from utter destruction." Okay, not exactly the most moving speech, but it seemed to work.

"Okay but if I fuck this up it's your fault." said Josh. "Now, what do you want me to do?"

"We need you to help us find the Trojan gate hinge." I said.

"Oh." said Josh "That's easy. It's kept in Jamaicans treasury. Next question please."

"Wait, how did you know that?" asked Annabeth.

"They collect all kinds of shit from ancient places. The president also sponsored an evacuation to the place where people expect Troy used to stand. Say, did Percy ever tell you about the time when we dressed up like smurfs and humped the principle's legs?"

"Josh, how the hell do you know all this stuff?" asked Thalia. Man, she needed to learn that all reality is controlled by the people who are the most insane. And by Hollywood. The bastards.

"It's called the internet." said Josh. "You should try it sometime. Anyway, if you were to blow up the treasury, the gate hinge should lie somewhere in the rubble."

"We're not blowing up the treasury, tempting as that may seem." I said. "We'll have to break in, get the gate hinge, and replace it with a copy or an IOU or something."

"You'll have to do it." said Josh. "I'm guessing that the so called authorities have no idea that you're here?" We nodded. "So you can break whatever rules you want and they can't do nothing do you."

"Yeah, but if we go back to America we can get into trouble." said Annabeth. Hmm. I thought Josh was getting a bit too focused.

"Oh right." said Josh. "Then this will require stealth. I will get my coat."

"Come one guys." I said. "I have a better idea. We go in there, I cause a massive earthquake, and we manipulate the mist so that it looks like anarchists." Now. All I have to do is to learn how to manipulate the mist.

"I can manipulate the mist." said Annabeth. Damn her! She hid her awesome talent from me! But for what sick purpose?

"How did you learn to manipulate the mist?" I asked.

"Luke taught me." said Annabeth. So she learned this ancient technique in years gone by , taught to her by the fiendish betrayer before he turned over to the dark side.

"Hey what's mist?" asked Josh.

"It's a ." I began. Man. I had nothing.

"It's sort of field. A lot like real mist actually." said Annabeth. "It corrupts mortals such as yourselves visions to make you , uh , unable to see monsters and gods and stuff." Hmm. Josh was silent for a long time after that.

"I have a better idea." he said. "Blonde girl person can you make the mist like, not work?" Annabeth nodded. Oh, good thing Josh was out of slapping distance. "Percy can you get any of these so called monsters?"

"Yeah. Hades still owes me a couple of favors." I said. It was true. I had a hell of a time in the underworld. One day I might just get around to remembering what it was that I did there.

"Alright then." said Josh. "We go to the treasury. Percy gets an army of monsters to overrun the place. Annabeth gets rid of the mist, causing panic and discord. Percy causes his earthquake so that it cracks the wall and knocks out any security cameras. Then Annabeth nips in and steals the hinge. Meanwhile me and Thalia right?" he said. Thalia nodded. "Right. Me and Thalia will be-

"No." I said. "I know what you're thinking and no."

"But." said Josh.

"No" I responded bravely.

"Please?" said Josh, making puppy dog eyes. Damn. This is becoming to text like.

"No. But the so called plan works. Let's try it." I said, looking around the room.

"One thing is certain." said Annabeth. "They sure as hell won't be expecting this."

One hour, several arguments and nine diet cokes with lemon later we were on the outskirts of the Jamaican treasury. Man. Now I'm robbing treasuries. Good thing I don't believe in karma or justice. Annabeth took her position. The plan was entirely unchanged, except that Thalia was going to get the gate hinge, while me and Annabeth make sure no innocent people get mauled by the horrible beasts I'm about to summon. Annabeth nodded. The mist wouldn't come. I would really like to know how she did it. It was time to start summoning.

I used Riptide to draw a circle. I made several strings of words in Ancient Greek. It looked weird and occult like. That way, if anyone saw me, they will have no idea what I'm really doing. "Lord Hades, here my call." I said. This was the difficult part. In a sense, all monsters lived in Hades' realm, or at least they get send there every now and then. They're are ways of summoning monsters. Hundreds. Some play music, some use special scents. But I, ha ha, I get Hades to make a hole for me. Then all I have to do is widen it. Four hellhounds and a , damn you Hades. Four hellhounds and a Chimera. These people are doomed. And so am I, probably. Damn Karma. You've made me a believer.

Percy, go smash those walls!" yelled Annabeth. "And pray to the god of your choice that the wire's are in the walls!" She took out her own sword and ran after the hellhounds. Man. She had some how gotten the mist to make her look completely different. But Annabeth told me to use my powers recklessly. I love my life.

"Right now." I said grimly. I started creating a brief but extremely focused earthquake where I guessed the foundations of the treasury should be. Unfortunately, my brilliant plan to smash the walls had a flaw. See, roofs tend to need walls to stay in the air. Personally, I would feel sorry for the current government. They sure as hell are going to struggle to explain this.

Thalia started running towards the left wing where the artifacts were kept. And other stuff of value to the state. Well, it's hero time. I drew Riptide and held it calmly in front of my chest. I swung Timmy upside down in my other hand. It was currently as big as a long dagger. This was going to be intense. I had no idea how I'm going to take down the Chimera. I started running towards the screams.

The first Hellhound wasn't difficult. It was walking around calmly, apparently at ease with the fact that screaming people were running around him. "You come over here!" I yelled. The hellhound stared at me. So did the random civilians. " I mean the hellhound. Get over here!" He smirked at me unpleasantly as if to say "make me." I returned with a smirk that said "I'm smirking." Damn. I really need to work on my snappy retorts. "Okay, there only one thing left." I said. "Heel!"

I ran at the hellhound at full speed, pausing only to snag some Doritos. I swung Riptide in an arch above my head, bringing it down right before I came to the hellhound, with only the tip grazing his fur. The hellhound roared in reply, obviously unaware of my divine heritage or looks. He readied himself to pounce. I suddenly tried something Achilles taught me. I swung Riptide straight forward and nudged the tip into the ground. I swung myself on my sword, throwing my towards the hellhound, I headed straight towards him, ready to fight , when I fell to the ground right in front of him. Without a sword. You could actually hear the hellhound do something mocking laughter like. He reached forward, and found Timmy in his neck. An old trick actually. Lie on the ground , looking helpless and dead, and then when the enemy comes, stick a small easily hide able dagger into them. Of course, this trick bred the lovely custom of first sticking a spear in your enemy before going closer, but still. It was a sort of last resort technique for half bloods.

I stood up, grabbed Riptide, and acknowledged the people's cheering with a royal wave. I ran off, until I saw Josh and a hellhound, which suddenly disappeared. He suddenly saw me. "Hey Percy." said Josh. "Annabeth dealt with this dog. Oh yeah. She said something about tell that freaking moron Percy that he really shouldn't summon monsters that can kill us all in these times. Man, she sounds uptight."

"What ever Josh." I said. It was odd really. Monsters dissolve on death. And not even Annabeth is that fast. Whatever. I had more pressing matters to worry about. Like the Chimera who was standing in front of me. The one who had was ready to eat an defenseless Annabeth.

**Review responses! Honestly, who didn't see this coming?**

**Becky Creighton: Have you noticed that all my even numbered chapters are a lot worse than the uneven number chapters?**

**Harold. N. Ere: Yeah. I hate fish mongers.**

**A great and terrible beauty: Same here.**

**Rugbyking: Yep. We have our worst coach ever and they refuse to fire him. We need a rugby miracle. **

**Phyco girl: Hopefully I haven't added any more suspense.**

**The Oraculer Fox: Yes, I have created many a humorous scene in the last chapter.**

**Author Notes: Sorry about the delay in posting this chapter. However, the next chapter is almost complete. Unfortunately, school has restarted. The updates will come less frequently from now one. If you discovered any of the four strange things in this chapter, don't worry. It will make sense later.**


	5. Stuck with me

**Stuck with me**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain**

Okay, asses the situation. Annabeth is about to be killed. Right. Now, I can panic. Shit! My best friend is currently a few inches away from certain death and the Chimera's tail! Which incedently looks like a dragon's tail, with some rather shiny scales. You're probably wondering if I'm carefully assessing the beast, hoping to find a weakness. You'd be wrong. I just notice odd things in times of crisis. Kinda like slow mow. Wow. My best friend is about to be killed and all I'm dong is carefully explaining how I notice things when I panic in overly long sentences. But at least it's in slow mow. Back to my life!

"Percy, I think you should save her!" said Josh. Wow. I was almost blinded by the obvious. Now, the reason why we half bloods hate Chimera's is that the half, the head of a lion, the tail of a dragon and of course the body of a goat. So technically you could make love to it like a goat, but I'll leave that to Aberoth.

All right. Despite popular opinion, the government and several Iq tests, I wasn't stupid. Just had a wacked out attention span. The first thing I did was throw Riptide straight at the Chimera, A bit last century but it fazed him enough to drop Annabeth. I readied Timmy. This was going to be intense.

When you fight a monster you've never fought before, you're pretty much screwed. Especially if you've just seen him make mince meat of an excellent sword fighter like Annabeth. I sent a light tremor underneath the Chimera. He responded by jumping on me. The Chimera was unfortunately smart. He used the short sword method. I need him far enough away for me to slash him, al he had to do was jump on me and impale me with his tail. I held Timmy diagonally, damn complicated word, across my chest, and pushed. The Chimera was thrown backwards, and I rolled backwards too. Me and the Chimera surveyed each other. Man, I hate worthy adversaries. We had fought before, but this time. This time we were pretty much equal. Not looks wise, dear me no, but in state of combat we were pretty much even. We both crouched, ready to jump. Then he fired a column of flame of me. You know, fire gets kind of repetitive. I jumped sideways to get away.

"Hey Percy!" yelled Josh. "Catch!" He threw Riptide at me. Which is very dangerous. Don't try it at home, don't try it in the missionary position, just don't do it. I picked Riptide up in my left hand. You may think I'll need a shield to keep myself medium rare. Well, you're right. But logic sure as hell isn't going to stop me from doing this.

I thought about how the thing tried to kill me and Annabeth. Damn. I'm not angry enough. I jumped up from the bush that I landed in and yelled. "Josh, I need you to get me very angry!" I charged the Chimera and stopped right in front of him and brought both blades down in an x. He caught the sword on his tail. I pulled my swords up and slashed from right and left at the same time. The Chimera then the logical thing. Or second most logical thing. The first would be to flame blast me to hell. The second and the one he chose involved him leaping forward, knocking me down and the swords out of my hands. He then playfully stood above me. Man, If he wasn't pinning me down, I would've gotten him a breath mint.

"Percy!" yelled Thalia. She looked really worried. She had a good reason to be. If I die, who's she going to have vigorous rock arguments over, like is Slipknot the best band ever, did Green Day sell out and the best possible ways to destroy all Duran Duran Cd's on earth. On second though, kill me now.

"Back off godling." said the Chimera coldly. He can talk! Maybe we could keep him... nah too homicidal.

Thalia readied her shield and sword. That shield was probably fire proof so she had a far better chance than me. Then she did something weird. She dropped her sword. With a great yell of "Ahhhh!" she swung her hand at the Chimera. A bolt of lightning came out. It hit the Chimera on the side. Wow. Me and the Chimera were shocked. He was shocked in both senses of the word.

"You'll pay for that godling." growled the Chimera, getting to his feet.

"Ha ha you're hair is all fuzzy." said Josh.

"You're not a child of the gods..." began the Chimera slowly. "You're..."

"Mortal. Yeah." said Josh. "But I took look divine." Man, the Chimera didn't look satisfied with that answer.

"I think you should give it up." said Thalia. She had her sword in hand. "You can't take both of us on at once."

"Oh can't I?" said the Chimera, with a smirk that only a goat with a lion's head could manage.

"You can. But the thing is, your life expectancy will be severely shortened if you do." I said, picking up both my swords.

The Chimera back off slightly. "It makes no difference. You are nothing but children. You cannot hope to win." Man, he has issues, and I'm gonna pay.

"Say hello to your mom when we send you back to Tartuarus." I said, perfecting my balance. I jumped straight at the Chimera, bringing both swords down in unison. He deflected with his tail, and Thalia did a faint attack at his left leg. He stamped down with his right claw, temporally pinning her sword. I swung my sword at his leg, forcing him to lift and turn, Thalia blocked his claw with her shield and made a horizontal sweep with her sword. He turned, and I caused a minor earthquake underneath him. He was temporarily unbalanced. Me and Thalia took advantage of that to temporally stick three swords in him. The dissolving thing you know. It was a Kodak moment.

"Thanks." I said. "For the whole saving me thing." She did deserve thanks for that brilliant rescuing of my life. Indeed.

"I can think of a way for you to make it up to me." said Thalia.

"I can make it up to her for you." said Josh, looking desperate. No Watson! I'm the star of this show! That means I'm entitled to at least 70 of the action.

"No Josh." I said. "I have to do this, myself."

"Percy I want you to help me send death threats to every single employee of MTV." That may not be nessacery. Hades was on a mission. The only reason he hasn't wasted them all yet is cause he still wants to see Audioslave's new video.

"Really?" I asked. "Well, okay then. It's doesn't make much sense, but it's got a beat, and I can dance do it."

"What?" asked Thalia. Oh good god. In brackets: An obvious reference to Hermes. End of brackets.

"Nothing, nothing." I said nonchantly. Well, you sure couldn't chant to it. " Say shouldn't we check on Annabeth, make sure she's still alive and all that?" It took me that long to reach this place.

"She's okay. Just knocked out." said Thalia. "I checked before I came and helped you."

"You know, I was about to be killed. If you were a second later..." I began, and held for dramatic effect. Okay, moving along now.

Thalia didn't have to answer. "I have the gate hinge." she said, ignoring my former dramatic statement. Man, I feel shunned. Kicked to the curb, or at least kicked under the chimera.

"Thank you." said a dark haired figure. "For retrieving it for us." Man that was ominous. And dramatic. The bastard. I'll out dramatize him soon enough. He also used shadows for increasingly awesome effects. Ohhh, now it's on.

"Who the fuck are you?" asked Thalia. "You're not from the government are you? Cause if you are, we can explain, we were uh, walking through the suburbs when."

"Be quiet mortal." said the dark haired stranger's dark voice. "I have no time for you. Now, the hinge. Give it to me, or die. Slowly." Okay, he's raising the dramatic bar a bit.

"Okay, I shall now repeat my former question." said Thalia. "Who the fuck are you, and why do you have a death wish?"

"Uh, Thalia, I recognize him." I said.

"Who is he? Or she." asked Thalia.

"Kronos.' I said simply. Now that's dramatic. He looks and sounds slightly more whole than he did when I saw him in my dreams.

"Correct." said Kronos as he strode forwards. He looked like you'd except Alex's evil half brother who returned, from seeming oblivion to look. Damn. Now this probably reads sounds like a O.C rip off. Well it's not. He had the same pitch black hair as Hades but his was worn in spikes. He was around six foot three. His arms were covered in dark scar lines, that look quite a lot like tattoos. In fact, his entire body was a mess of black lines. Well, what we could see anyway. He wore jeans and pure cotton white vest. You could see the quality. In fact, he looked a lot more like a rock band's drummer than anything else.

"You see kids this real life. This life at it's harshest and most unforgiving. This fairy tale myth you've been living in, is nothing new. All kinds of tales spawned after my, departure, from the throne. After the end of my golden age.You see the world as it is not. You claim this so called Western Civilization has created goodness and happiness. " said Kronos and he looked at us. His eyes were a beautiful blue. No Percy! Do...not...get...lost...in...them...please?

" You looked at your world and all your advancements." said Kronos, and he said the word as if it was some kind of thing he does not like very much. " You call it good. Better than my age. Why did you seek this, so called evolution? Ignorance is bliss. You said it yourselves. Why is civilization necessary. I look at this world, and I see. I'm not blind like you." Man, I sure don't stand much of a chance in the drama contest anymore. In case you're wondering, Kronos' voice had the kind of quality that gets you to listen, even if it makes no sense at all. It was also kind of disjointed, as you probably realized. Spending all that time alone must have messed up the old social skills.

"I suspect Prometheus has already told you about the reality of god's Perseus." said Kronos suddenly. "That we change. That is the real difference. Because, titans, titans change only according to their own whims. Gods, gods can be altered. Gods and humans exist hand in hand. Gods and humans are selfish." Okay, weird control freak calling others selfish. Could this monologue make any less sense? "Ares is the god of war. He isn't just an impersifiction of war, he is war. All the anger and rage and hated and stupidity mixed with brute force that causes war. Hades, on the other hand is the god of death. He is death, all the cruelty and pity and hate and love that comes associated with death. And me, I'm the titan of the earth. I am the earth." Oh shit. All those people who say global warming doesn't do any harm are about to die. Now that's my kind of humor.

"Excuse me, but is this going anywhere?" asked Thalia. Ha! His brand of drama only stuns people for short periods of time.

"Not really." said Kronos. "I was just stalling, casually holding the threat of your immanent deaths over the head of my moronic half brother." Oh. He was just using us! As bait! Now I know who those worms feel after the changed to 3d. Which sucked, just by the way. "On his arrival, I will destroy him, ensuring me and Zeus' invasion of the world goes, smoothly." Wow loose cannon! He probably need to get those things off his chest but hell, next time warn me. Wait, did he say he was going to kill Alex?

"As cocky and arrogant as ever I see." Said Alex, landing right between us and Kronos.

"Yet also as awesome as ever." said Kronos. "Hi, brother."

"Half brother. Peace to your mother." said Alex. Oh damn. He was listening to Vanilla Ice again.

"As you say. It's time I ended you're miserable existence." said Kronos, smiling sinisterly.

"Like you have a chance." answered Alex.

:Oh but he does." said Zeus, standing calmly behind Alex, master bolt in hand.

**Author Notes: No musical interpretation necessary.**

**Sorry about the delay in posting. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks to all my rewievers. I'd also like to say I'm now entering a darker type of humor. Anyway, R and R please.**

**Rewiev Responses! Yay!**

**The Oracular Fox: My pairings move really slowly.**

**A great and terrible Beauty: You'll find out how unusual in a way that'll make Percy jealous. **

**Rugby King: Yeah. Personally I can't wait until Australia plays England again.**

**Harriet. L . Miller: Now it's an old chapter. Respect.**


	6. Good, logic or evil

**Good, evil or logic**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain.**

Hmm. Alex, the extremely powerful titan of fire and civilization versus Zeus and Kronos, a highly unlikely and powerful alliance. I know what you're thinking, but unfortunately my phone can only record three minutes of video. Unless I delete the funny one about the girl, the turtle and the gnome. Yeah, we're totally screwed. Josh as usual, looks completely unfazed. See? In times of crisis I once more take in the little things. Back to my life!

"Two against one?" asked Alex. "That's kinda unfair. Zeus, will you please leave, or dance around looking threatening while me and Kronos fight?" Now, lets see just how considerate he is...

"You and Perseus have a , disturbed sense of humor." said Zeus, calmly swinging his bolt on one hand. Oh, well we have needs too scuz bag!

"Percy, can't we do something?" whispered Annabeth. "Alex can't take both of them." Ah ha. She seems to be aware of Alex's limitations

"Unless you count running no." I said. "Thalia, you got any ideas?"

"No." whispered Thalia. "What about Josh, can he think of something? Sanity isn't exactly working for us now, so...

" _Fret not little mortal." _came a voice in my head. "_Prometheus shall come to no harm."_

"Huh? Who is this?" I thought back. "Is this about a dog?" Honestly, some people have no consideration for my space. Or my head.

"_Ah. The son of Poseidon can't remember me."_ said the now quite annoying voice.

"Oh shit. Kronos. You can read minds?" I thought back. Really, I was so hoping he wasn't taking out readers digest on my head.

"_Only willing ones. Such as yours_." said, or thought Kronos. " _And, Perseus, I'm not reading your mind. It's more like talking to you in a waking dream."_

"Willing?' I though back. "I sure don't want you in me in any sense of the word."

" Zeus, I'm serious. Back off, or you'll regret it." said Alex. His black blade shot into flames.

"_Yes, willing. It doesn't have to be a conscious thing Percy. You may not know it, but_ you _want me to help you_." said Kronos. Damn, now I have to keep track on two conversations at once.

"Help me?" I though back. " What, are you going to assist my suicide or something?"

" _Not really. Percy, you know that all the gods have champions. Half bloods who lead their cause on the mortal plain. I want you to be mine_." said Kronos, breaking the melancholy nicely.

" I knew you were incapable of rational thought the first time you disobeyed me but now you're acting just plain stupid." said Zeus. Man, he has to work on his repartee.

"_The narration isn't really necessary_." said Kronos. Fool! It's essential. But no one knows why.

"Number one, fuck you." I thought. "Number two, you have Luke. And if you disposed of him this easily, then I don't think the whole employer employee relationship will work out."

" _I won't kill Luke. He will lead my armies. He shall be my sword , who strikes at me enemies and ends them. You shall be my dagger, which ever so slowly goes into my_ _enemies back."_ said Kronos. Oh ,dammit I suck at verbal debated. Now I have to do a non verbal one. The bitter irony. Wait, sarcasm shall save me!

"Right. One more problem. Your evil. Talk your way out of that one you sick, regenerated titan, person." I thought. Woah! I just realized I'm may not really be talking to Kronos, but I may have actually turned insane! I must investigate!

"I would say touché." said Alex. "But that just sucked. It was boringer than the whole stuck to a rock for a very long time deal."

" _Do not worry Perseus_." said Kronos, sensing my concern. "_This is not Prometheus actual attempt at repartee, he's stalling. Further more, evil is a word. Just another word._ _Like stimulation or maybe even rudebox."_ Wow. Tartuarus TV must be bad.

" Right, next you'll be telling me there's no good or evil, only power and those to blind to see it." I thought. Or so I thought.

" _Wrong Perseus. Think logiacally. There can be no definition of evil. Everywhere you see people angry at each other, because the think what the other one has done is wrong. Everyone defines what's right or wrong for them. You have to decide for yourself. And have you? If the media, and all the bastards tell you something, like when Annabeth told you I'm evil, did you believe them? You did. It's like the old saying, it takes years to build friendship and trust, and only suspicion, not truth to destroy it. Before you know what is truly evil, you must ask yourself why people are always willing to believe bad _things about _others but very rarely believe good things about others?"_ said Kronos. "_Everyone believes the rumors..."_

"Right." I thought. But it wasn't. It's hard to believe anything good about anyone when you've only heard but things about them. Because people don't want to hear good things about others, they only want to hear bad things about others. Wait, was that the point? Or was it just some random puncoiation? "So." I asked them. "You're the victim of various rumors. Yet you ate and used human for entertainment. I know it sounds bad, cause it is bad."

"_I didn't know any better. People justify eating animals by claiming they have no intelligence. They also used them for entertainment. I considered human beings to be animals. I could see no difference between you and other monkeys. It was Prometheus who actually saw potential in your kind. And he was right_." thought Kronos. Okay with that ,unless I'm willing to give up those delicious chicken nuggets, I really can't argue with without being a hypocrite.

"Now that's a lengthy stall." said Zeus, indicating the stall which Josh had argued at earlier.

"Okay, what about eating, my dad and Hades and Zeus at birth and that kind of thing?" I asked. At last, after two thousand years of mythology, we will finally discover why he didn't just chop them into a bunch of pieces and throw the pieces off a mountain.

"_Hey, that was self defense." said Kronos. "An in vain kind of thing but still. And the mythological people got it wrong. I didn't eat them and they came out unscathed after Zeus rescued them, that's fucking ridiculous. I absorbed their essence into a diamond just like the one in my sarcophagus, and kept them alive in a stasis. When Hades and Poseidon and Hera and Demeter's power strengthened me, I was the most powerful being in existence. But then Zeus happened. To defeat me_." said Kronos.

"It is." said Alex. "But shouldn't we be beating the shit out of each other right about now?" asked Alex.

"Wait, Alex is on your side?" I thought.

"_Well, duh, he wants Zeus to go down too. See, the second me and Zeus win, it will be an epic battle between the two of us for the true prize of ruling all. And more importantly_ _Percy, I walked upon Olympus."_ said Kronos.

"Well, so did I, don't get all high and...oh shit." I thought. "If you walked on Olympus tehn the titans..

"_The titans are free. And under Zeus's command. Now, you must choose Persues, do you choose me, or Zeus. For in truth, that is the only option who exists. The titan lord versus_ _the lord of the gods."_ said Kronos.

"Wait, if he knew you were going to betray him, why did he bring you back?" I asked.

"_Because, he wanted me to walk on Olympus and bring the titans back. I did. I thought they would side with me. But they didn't. Zeus is far more persuasive than you will ever know. In truth, only Letos has sided with us, but he is currently on a very important_ _mission for me."_ said Kronos.

"Yes, we should." said Zeus. "Shall we have a warm up first?"

"Hey why is he stalling too?" I asked.

"_He wants to ready his forces in an attempt to kill us all. But what he doesn't know is that Hades and Artemis are secretly dealing with them as we speak. Let's watch!"_ said Kronos.

"So." I said, attempting to figure out what was going on. "I get to be the champion of a guy who can barely keep himself from falling apart, and I have the chance of getting killed if I seem slightly weak?" I asked.

"_You can not see any true objections to serving me? I, unlike Zeus is mercifull. Zeus chains those who help him to rocks, or makes them hold up the whole freaking planet,_ but I, all I _will to I limit you computer access" _ said Kronos. Well, that might be slightly worse, but, wait, what am I saying?

"I do have one big objection." I said. "If we work together, I will also work with Luke. Which meanse Annabeth will be exposed to him as well. How the hell am I supposed to fight his hair?"

"_I will get you highlights." said Kronos. "Now, do you wish to be part of the deadly alliance? The one in which everyone god you trust is in_?" asked Kronos.

" This is probably stupid, but I like your style, so I'm in." I said, with the sense of conviction.

**Author Notes: I'd like to say no animals were hurt in the making of this chapter, but a sheep died. I apologize but I was really hungry. **

**Hikatouri. R. Ocks: Well, I bet you didn't see that coming.**

**Firemasterytjy: Perhaps but in retrospect, we cannot say.**

**Whatsername: I'm guessing Sarah. **

**A great and terrible beauty: Yes. **


	7. Walk through darkness

**Walk through darkness and trip and fall. Into darkness.**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain**

You have to consider weather I'm just suicidal, homicidally evil or misunderstood. Or you can ask you self if I thought that Zeus and Kronos were planning something really evil together and Alex hoped I would trust him enough to join Kronos, no questions asked, simply because Alex had too in a fake ill gotten attempt to get Kronos's trust. Yep, I'm definitely misunderstood cause even I don't understand what the fuck I meant there. Re read and try again. Yeah. Sometimes you just have to trust in a friend. Despite the fact that all reliable evidence points to the fact that he's going to blow up the world. Yeah. Trust that guy. Back to my life!

"Percy, what's wrong?" asked Annabeth. "You look worried about something."

"Don't worry." I said quickly. "I'm just thinking."

Thalia looked at me disbelievingly. "_Are you ready Percy?" _asked Kronos. Suddenly I caught a glimpse of Alex's face. It's weird, but whenever you catch a glimpse of someone's face it always happens very slowly. And their hair fall even slower. Alex seemed to lengthen his hair just for this purpose. He winked.

"Yeah, I thought back. I thought back the word "Yeah." That's another free flashing insight into my mind. I'm kind of scared of letting people into my mind. You never know when a whole lot of people will gatecrash and drive you out of your mind.

"Right." said Kronos in a loud, carrying voice that carried his words perfectly. "It ends here. He swung his arm, a great crack appeared in the earth, and everything seemed to fall into chaos. Josh was in his happy place. I was in my oh-shit-I'm-gonna die place.

Zeus yelled something in Ancient Greece , and swept his arms, causing a massive wind to throw us back wards, into the wind. I hurt my head on a rock. That's it. If I'm getting to fuck the world, I'm at least going to use protection.

Alex smiled like a constipated pigeon that just arrived at a statue of some guy he really dislikes. He pulled out his black sword and it lit in a tall flame. Zeus fired a lightning bolt at him. He blocked it with a quick swipe and ran at Zeus at full speed. Something happened then. It may have been my imagination, poor eyesight or an odd sandwich I ate a couple of days ago, but Zeus seemed to actually suck at fighting. Alex only false swiped a couple of times before he left a massive gash in Zeus left shin. Not fair, but hey.

"Sorry, Zeus." said Kronos with a quick smile. "But it's over." Kronos drew out his own sword. It had jagged edges that glinted evilly.

Zeus smiled. "You may think you've won. But you have to know, I can run. Really fast." And suddenly his skin fell away. For lack of a better word, as Zeus true form was revealed. I got my eyes closed just in time. Actually I had a couple of seconds to spare, but hey. Who's counting?

"And now.'" said Kronos. "Let's return to my ship." I desperately needed to talk to Alex. I needed to know whether I made a very big mistake, or a huge mistake.

I caught Alex's gaze again. It was quick but, dare I say it? Flirtatious. Or not. Seems like total evil is not my way. In fact, I don't know which way is my way, but that actually proves it's my way. Annabeth and Thalia also looked at me worriedly. "Don't worry. It'll be okay." I said.

"Right." said Thalia. "And next we'll find out you define okay as, probably dead but mostly recognizable. Percy, I seriously think you should reconsider this."

"Reconsider what?" I asked. Had she discovered my swift , illogical descent into darkness? Or was she referring to the new hair style Zeus had granted me with his wind thing?

"Going with the guy who tried to kill you at least thirty times in the last two years, Percy." said Annabeth. "Do you ever think anything through?" Actually no. I usually get confused half way through and. Whatever.

"Look. If we go with him there's a chance we'll be killed. If we don't Zeus is going to kill us for sure. I'll take my chances, however stupid they may be.'" Hmm. In retrospect, that somehow didn't come out right.

"Right Percy. When he starts killing, disfiguring, or threatening to kill or disfigure us unless we join his evil army, I'm so saying I told you so, you inbred moron. And I'll say it, several times." said Thalia. At the time I couldn't think of a witty retort. I just nodded in silent acceptance. Wait. If I'm telling this story in the present future tense, thing, I can add cool lines all over the place until I'm awesome. I'm unto something here.

We walked a while in silence. Annabeth kept looking nervous, but slightly happy, and Thalia kept staring at me. Intently. Josh looked puzzled for a while, then content, then asked me what happen. I made pun joke about him having "Mist" everything and it broke the ice like a fat penguin. Okay maybe I didn't make a pun based joke then, but if I did, It' would've been funny. We were nearing the coastline. My wounds felt like the see air was actually nursing them, and my hair fell back into it's former glory. We had returned to the anchored Princess Andromeda.

"Climb aboard. Climb aboard." said Kronos, making the boat ours. In a relative non legal sense of course.

"Nice boat. Sorry about me trying to blow it up and all that, but you know how it goes." said Alex. Kronos smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. It seemed to stop right at his nose.

"A common misunderstanding." said Kronos. "As we both know, the position has now changed. We can no longer afford to compete." Technically he probably could afford it. I mean, do you know what this kind of boat costs. "To the bridge. We have much to discuss.

We started walking along the hallways. Then I suddenly realized what Alex wanted to do on the Princess Andormeda. Steal everything that wasn't nailed down. He kept casually sliding things into his jacket, which he later assured me was synthetic leather

"Alex." I whispered. "Please tell me your master plan isn't to steal everything that isn't nailed down."

"Of course not." said Alex. "I'm a titan, nails can't stop me." He looked like he really wanted to laugh. "Just kidding Percy. Our true goal is something far more sinister. The whole stealing and whispering about our plans right next to the guy we're plotting against is just to catch Kronos off guard. Too make him underestimate us." Okay, I'm pretty sure we're playing it by ear now. I really hope I'm risking my life here for something other than the gift shop supplies Alex was stealing.

"Here we are." said Kronos, who probably overheard our entire conversation but decided not to do anything because he was secretly planning to kill both of us. But not simultaneously. It would probably be me, Alex and then Annabeth. They have to leave either me or Thalia alive. I wonder if they issued a life insurance policy on either of us. I'm onto something. Me and Hades can scam the very large amounts of money the life insurance salesmen have out of the life insurance salesmen! That can work. Once, again, I'm unable to properly focus on the fact I'm about to be killed. Damn. I should go back in time and get a policy.

He opened the door. We walked back into the old big room that I have visited, many times. "Hello, Percy." said Luke. He wore silky, black pants and a black ,striped with white and purple, button down shirt. Damn. Annabeth did something that scared the living piss out of me. She blushed. Not. This. Shit. Again. Fuck you Luke. Fuck you, your hair and you delectable fashion sense. I'm doomed. Now I'll never get to, hey I wonder if Thalia is single. She's my cousin, but I'm pretty sure we can work around that. "Hello Thalia. Hi, Annabeth." said Luke, letting the word slowly escape from his mouth. Oh fuck. I'm in too deep again.

"Hi." responded Annabeth. She looked okay, which I'm pretty sure was a bad thing.

"Ah. A cheery welcoming and lodgings." said Kronos, who had appeared to have gotten himself a glass of wine. Dammit. Why is it, that every time an evil guy makes some grim announcement he has to have a glass of wine? Why not vodka, or maybe even Coke. Or maybe they get special deals from Dionysus. Damn him for supporting evil. "It turns out that daddy is coming back."

"Shit! Hide the wine!" I yelled. And then looked around the room. "Sorry." I said. "Reflex."

"Come on, you know you can't keep him from this world." said Alex. "The old power is falling away. Now all that stands between him and his return is the lord of the dead. And he won't stand against him." Wait, what are they talking about? I thought Oranos was like, on the level or something.

"How did the other titans get past Hades anyway?" asked Annabeth.

"Zeus." said Kronos simply. "Zeus, spiked Hades's supply of sprite. He used a mixture of vodka and strong sleeping potion. I think he was asleep for a whole week." Somehow, I always knew the universe would be doomed due to a spiked sprite supply. That was the time a revelation occurred to me. Something, that told me I shouldn't trust Kronos, or Luke or strangers with candy. If Hades is the only thing keeping the fallen in the pit (dun dun) , how much damage did they do to my dad for him still to rather lie there than return to the earth? And, if Kronos feeds on chaos, what does my dad feed on?

"Yeah." said Luke. "But Oranos is a bigger problem. We must devise a way of destroying him without giving Zeus the time to get to him. We must also discover a way for them to then seal Oranos in the underworld without them knowing it. It'll take us about a week. That's how long it takes us to analyze it from every possible angle, and ensure that failure is impossible, and success is inevitable." Man, this is starting to get like my social studies period.

"Hey I have a question." I said. " Why don't you just get one of those murder series writers to help you out? They're good with plots." I'm in need of personal blinds, cause I'm attracting some hostile glares.

"Sometimes, I still don't get how you survived for more than two minutes in a subway." said Luke. Hmm. The trick is to move very fast, and always know when to say, it was that guy!

"Yes. It just so happens that I thought of a very commendable plan." said Kronos. "One that requires the life of our young friend there." said Kronos, grinning in a sickly fashion.

"Alex, please tell me we have an escape plan." I whispered out of the corner of my mouth.

"Too be honest." whispered Alex back. "I never really got passed the, free ship stuff phase in my planning process." He winked.

"You should know I'm standing right in front of you." said Kronos. "I can see the winking and hear the whispering. Who taught you discretion, an exbitisionhist?"

"Oh yeah? Well you suck." said me and Alex simultaneously. Then we looked at each other and grinned.

"I can't believe I ever considered you two competition. While you were , acting like, no excuse me not even you are that good actors, while you were being complete idiots, Luke and his friends have bound and gagged both Thalia and Annabeth, with swords hanging conveniently above both their necks." Huh. I thought it had gone a bit quite.

**Author Notes: Percy's alliance is still undecided. Don't ask.**

**Rewiev Responses:**

**Throgan: This story has a point? Oh yeah, hope this chapter explains it to you, if it doesn't the next chapter will. If not, then the chapter after the next chapter will.**

**Henry.R. James: Yeah, I'm on a mission.**

**Firemasterytjy: Thanks.**

**Whatsername: Just guessing.**


	8. I steal my dad's nose

**I steal my dad's nose**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain.**

Sometimes, I need to actually check what I'm doing. Sometimes, you, despite acting like things don't matter, start to realize they do. Sometimes, you realize that life, life probably exist just to piss you off. Sometimes you realize that you acted like an idiot and now your friends are about to be killed by your enemies. And not very original enemies either. This is what, the fourth time they tired to beat me? Of course looking back, that kind of arrogance probably almost cost my friends they're lives. Arrogance came naturally, to me, I was good at it. I was too used to winning all the time. Too used to winning, to remember I can lose. Back to my life!

"Okay." I whispered out of the corner of my move while loudly extending Timmy across the floor the cover up the noise.

"Although I can't hear you, it's extremely obvious you're planning an ill fated escape." said Kronos. "Do not even bother. It will be pointless. You will not survive, what is to come."

"Let me guess. I've read all about this is comic books." I said, "You'll put me in some rigorous trap maze thing where I'll get all busted up but will escape with my friends and survive?" I asked. You may ask yourself why I'm doing this. Number one, evil guys can't resist lording over you, making you feel like an idiot. Good people generally just ignore you or look in disbelief. Two, this annoys Kronos, so it must be good. Three, it gives Alex time to think of something. Hopefully my edge of annoyance will make Kronos forget that little fact.

"Percy, even if I was stupid and careless enough to do that, I would first inject you with a slow acting poison or something, which will ensure you die even if you get out." said Kronos. Wow. Why don't villains do that? And why do I have to get Kronos, the super villain titan guy as my nemesis. Sure, Spiderman thinks Venom is tough but Venom never ripped apart an entire Island.

"Oh, so will there be an antidote or something which I will get too at the last minute?" I asked. This is easy. I just have to imagine a random RPG setting.

"Percy, none of my poisons have antidotes." said Kronos. "Honestly, only a mortal fool will leave his enemy a way to survive. But your lucky. I need you to survive for about-

"Uh, master." said Luke cutting in. "The poisons, well uh, most of them now have antidotes. The men have had some accidents."

Kronos sighed. "Well, then I will order the men to through the antidotes in an incinerator." he said. "Or I will throw them into Georgia. But not into the sea. Our friend would find that too easy."

Damn he's good. But I have a loophole. "But, what if you accidentally through me into the incinerator too and the evaporated steam has a sort of healing effect and-. I was cut off at that point. Kronos pointed his hand at me and I flew into a chair, felt something crack against my back, and a thin trail of blood started flowing out from underneath me. Damn. There goes my second favorite Blink 182 t-shirt. Damn him.

"Percy. I have had enough of you pitiful attempt to distract me. I only allowed it to see if you can actually think of a decent plan. But seemingly, the obvious solution of jumping into the sea and letting your Father's power heal you didn't even occur, despite the fact that we're on a boat. Nor did the option of praying or leaving a sacrifice to the god of healing, Apollo. You still think like a mortal. I sometimes still have a hard time believing you can be crucial to my fate." said Kronos.

"I didn't ask for it." I said coldly. "Do you think I enjoyed being told that I would die before I could drive? Or legally drink? Or having learned that all that shit I put through in school doesn't and never will matter? Too be told that a whole bunch of pissed of all mighty deities with issues are suddenly in control of my life?"

"Anger." said Kronos, smiling coldly. "Anger that the gods ignored, and when they learned of your role in their fate, they suddenly want you to be their hero. When I look at you, I don't see a puppet. I don't see a moron, or as you call them, a hero. I see potential. Potential beyond you wildest dreams. I have sent monsters too destroy half bloods all my life. You're the first the defeat one as mighty as a minotaur with a training, or even a weapon."

"You're the reason those monsters are after us?" I asked. "Woah. When you want to make people's live shit you really put a lot of yourself into it."

"Oh, and Prometheus." said Kronos, who turned his cold eyes towards Alex. "Nice try." Alex looked like he was in agony. I mean real agony. I mean electrical equipment got attached to testicles agony. Alex seemed to hold out for a couple of seconds, and then fell to the ground, panting like a mongoose. Wow. My analogies have started to suck.

"You win." said Alex, sliding too the ground and fidgeting behind his back. Until he let out a yelp and put his hands in front of him. I could actually seem he try to think of a way out, but Kronos obviously blocked his way out.

"Yes, you know the whole, only attacking you when you're really young? That was to wipe out the weak. Only the strong should survive. Only Hades found out what I was doing, and built that camp. Which will soon be razed."

"Wait, if you're already resurrected, what to you need more half bloods for?" I asked.

"You know Percy, while giving out important information to the enemy , is true villain style, I will not succumb to it. Not even considering that you will most likely be dead in the next three minutes." You had to look really closely to notice, but after all this I was son angry that the sea started to respond automatically. You could see Kronos wine move slightly.

"Exactly as you predicted master." said Luke. "About Percy and those other gods." Other gods? Damn. There's no suspense.

"Ah yes." Said Kronos. "Artemis and Hades. As if they can take this ship by force. Not when Zeus interferes." Alex was now frantically looking around the room, as if trying to sniff something out.

"Nice try Alex. You won't be able to help them. And as or your-

"Percy, smash the cabinet!" yelled Alex.

"No you bastard it's an antique!" yelled Kronos and then he's eyes widened. "No! That's impossible! How did you?" Then suddenly comprehension dawned. Despite the fact that it was evening. "Letos." he breathed and his hand pulsed menacingly, just as Timmy plunged into the cabinet. Something broke. Something that wasn't supposed to be broken.

Alex smiled, and pointed as a flash of light erupted. Some of the things in the room disintegrated like they were hundreds of years older.

"Alex what the fuck is going on?" I asked.

"It's complicated." said Alex. "Let's just say Oranos is coming back, and he's extremely pissed off."

Kronos stood in the centre of the room, seemingly thinking of a way out. I slashed through Annabeth and Thalia rope's and helped them up.

"Percy, what did he mean Oranos is coming back?" asked Annabeth. I scarcely had time to notice but someone grabbed Alex and dragged him out the room. He drew his sword and started fighting with some kind of hot woman goddess chick.

"This." said Oranos as he stepped out of the rift. He seemed to search for something, grabbed it and with another flash of light he stood there. Back, and better than the last time I saw him. When he had two minotaur horn shaped holes in his sides.

"Father." said Kronos coldly.

"Father?" said Oranos, with his eyebrow half raised. "You know, after I had you, I seriously considered to stop drinking."

"Insults won't save you." said Kronos. "_Nothing,_ is going to save you." Ohhhhhh, nice emphasis.

"You thought you could keep me back." said Oranos softly. "You won't bring me down again. Not ever."

"Right." said Kronos. "Just like you invincible reign." Oranos didn't exactly express his pissed offness vocally, I instead his eyes flared with dark rage.

"Revenge is best served with your enemy's steaming entrails." said Oranos. "Alex." he yelled suddenly. "We need to blast them back and get out of this ship. Slowly."

"Got it." said Alex. Damn. I hate codes. "Percy, you Thalia and Annabeth must go and get, no stop the other hero's on the ship. And watch out for the monsters who want to eat. Just avoid death okay?" asked Alex and turned with lightning speed slashed at the goddess who fell back. "Get your dad's body. We need it to revive him." My dad's body? So...despite me repeated protests I'm still going to be forced to run a morgue zone. Isn't that tickety boo?

Kronos yelled and thrust forward with his sword, which Oranos almost lazily blocked. He pointed with his hand and me, Luke, Thalia and Annabeth were thrown out the room, albeit in different directions. As I was flying I saw a the cabinet against which I was leaning disintegrate. Now that was the kind of situation which makes me regret that I wasn't standing in front of a curtain, so that I could make a lame joke about curtain calls.

You know, when people get blasted through walls in the stories the usually forgot to put in that the hero yells stuff like "Oh fuck my shoulder! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My ankle! Shit, where did that light fixture come from?" and the like. In fact, I only went through four walls. I only stopped when I had a patrol that had one half blood, one hellhound and a cockatrice in it. This was going to get messy.

"Okay." said the half blood. "What's your excuse this time? What did we do wrong this time?" Wait? Kronos punishes his warriors by throwing zombified humans at them? Creative.

"Uh." I began in a slow drawl. "One of you has has has, has been a very naughty boy. Apparently he took some unnecessary liberties during disemboweling practice. Specifically, the cleaning lady." Okay, while they argue which one of them is the naughty boy, I will cleverly stick my sword though the monster, then give them a partially fatal skewering.

"Wait, you look familiar..." said the guy. "Hellhound, identify him." What the...? 

"He's a son of Poseidon?" said the hell hound, in an almost ethereal voice.

"But that can only mean...attack!" yelled the half blood and delivered a quick spear thrust, which I sidestepped.

"You know they say the pen is mightier than the sword?" I asked, slowly pulling riptide out of my pocket. "In my case, the pen is the sword." I pulled the top off. The hellhound lunged. The cockatrice shot a petrifaction beam at me. Which would have turned me into an unbelievably hot statue.

"Give up." said another half blood, who had a small patrol of attack harpies with him. Now, I was officially trapped. I did the sensible thing, and smashed my sword into a door, and ran through it.

"We're sleeping." said a zombified voice. "We're sleeping. We not prepared for past tense. We're sleeping." Damn. I have the choose the room of the people who were chosen to take an afternoon nap. Well, here I make my stand. It's better than out in the open.

An overly excited hell hound jumped through the now open doorway. I slashed Riptide straight at him, and quickly pulled it up when he leaped upwards. He pushed downwards with his paw, causing my sword to loose it's momentum. Now I had a very angry dog at my leg. I kicked out as hard as I could, the hound let out a yelp and bit me hard. Now you know why hero's don't generally wear jeans when fighting a deadly enemy. Cause they're easily ruined with blood.

"Dammit." I whispered to no one in particular. "I need water." I brought the but of my sword down hard on the hellhound who had retained a firm yet subtle grip on my leg. I swung the blade down fast leaving a thin gash in the side of the hellhounds shoulder.

"My Lord." came a creepy voice. "Remember the showers." Okay, that made it on my top forty freaky list. It was a probably a short runner for number twenty seven.

Now, it was, like when the full moon shines brightly, and the mighty manticore takes on the cursed werewolf, it was on now. I drew Timmy and threw the sword in the general direction of the door. The guys on the other side of the door quickly went in other directions. I then ran backwards, hastily pursued by the hellhound, pausing only to tip a pretty big tv on the hellhound, who did not appreciate the creative viewing. I jumped into the bathroom and opened all the taps, all the shower taps, and let the water flow around me, healing me. I then did one of the smartest things in my life. I stuck Riptide into one of the ships water pipes. And called all the water from the ballast tank to me. All the water from a massive cruise liners ballast tank into one cramped little room. See the clever bit is this. They can drown. I can't.

You might ask yourself why the ship isn't sinking. And why the zombified people aren't drowning. Oh shit. I didn't make a plan for the last one yet. I ran back into the room. Oh yeah, the ballast tank I drained was the last one in the line. So my control over water pretty much acted like a second ballast tank. I just had to make sure enough of it was in the same place to stop the boat from caponizing. Good. Now, all I need to do is save those people.

One quick focused wave and the monsters were off my case. "Okay people." I said. "I need you to leave in an orderly fashion."

"We're currently drowning." said the people, one man, one woman and two kids. " We're not currently sleeping. We're drowning." Oh fuck. This is going to be a lot more difficult than I suspected.

"Okay, zombie like creatures. What to do, what to do..." I whispered, once again to no one in particular, in the hopes that they would once again help out.

"My lord, do not worry." came that same voice. "They are safe. We have more pressing things to attend to."

"Okay, who are you and why am I your lord?" I asked. "Your not an invisible horse right?" Remind me later to tell you the story of the invisible horse, the parsnip and the bad clams. Hurghhhh.

"No, my lord." said a quickly materializing shade. "I'm a deceased hero who was cursed to Tartuarus. I'm currently still atoning for my sins. If I succeed, Hades shall free me from my curse."

"Right." I said. "So, if you were trapped on Tarturas how did you get on this ship?"

"Have you not yet wondered why so many dead live in this place?" asked the shade, his features becoming more pronounced. He had long, skeletal hand and a dark cloak with flaming red eyes. He seemed to almost float but you could just make out a pair on ancient boots touching the floor. Awesome. We should go to an anime convention together.

"Shades of the dead. A luxury cruiser full of hypnotized people and monsters. I thought it was just Kronos' idea of making it even more intimidating." I said.

"No Perseus." said the voice. "When Kronos became embodied within the sarcophagus, his presence caused a rift between the two worlds. He needed the dark power of Tartuarus to continue reviving him. We dead simply went with the flow. We chose not to leave the ship. We saw this as our one chance to redeem ourselves to Hades."

"Wait...so you guys can flow on waves of chaotic energy? Why can't monsters do that?" I asked.

"They do it Perseus." said the shade. "That's how Kronos built his army. But we must go towards your father remains. I shall address your questions while we walk."

I was silent for a moment. "Okay, if you know I need to find my dad's remains, do you also know why I need to find him? It's not going to wind up like one of these freaky burials where just as I lower the casket my dad suddenly breaks through it and yells, "Fuck Percy I told you I wanted an open casket!" Really. I had nightmares about that. Immortal think they're "ha ha, I'm not really dead" jokes are _so_ funny. Really. Most of the kids in the Ares cabin and Ares himself are banned from half the grave yards in central New York.

"Perseus, Alex and Oranos require your dad's remains to revive him." said the shade. "Although the bodies most gods appear in aren't there true bodies, the contain part of the gods living essence, the essence which is required for the god to return to a living form. It's difficult but I shall explain it do you simply." said the shade, and began a monologue. It was actually interrupted half way through by a couple of half bloods and a very angry drunk griffin, but for the sake of easy reading, I won't interrupt the monologue again.

"See, Persues, gods and titans are immortal. When they die, they are send to Tarturas where the roam in their true immortal forms. However, to return to their living bodies, the bodies must first be prepared. For the bodies remain. The gods can't take their earthen bodies with them. Now, to get the bodies together is easy enough. The trouble is Hades. He blocks the direct flow of the true form to the body. When Kronos went through a different path, his entire body needed to be reformed and he even needed some of the life force of halfbloods to fully return. Now, the reason for Oranos and Poseidon's easier return is simple. Hades does not block the exit for them. But Kronos of course planned for that." It was at that point in which we were violently attacked. I won't go into the details but it was really action packed. And kinda stupid. A drunken griffin really isn't in control of it's claws.

"That cabinet you shattered was made out of a tree that Luke cut down while he was in the garden of Hesperaides. It contained a piece of Oranos. Kronos then somehow altered the piece so that it automatically drew all of Oranos' life essence to it, but can't in itself leave the cabinet. When you smashed the cabinet, Oranos' true form could connect the piece with the rest of his body, which Prometheus mailed to someone random mortal, and then rematerialiased in the same room to challenge Oranos. As I understand, the titan Letos stole the rest of the pieces and readied them."

"So you see, when Luke killed your father he did the same and hid the body parts across America. The only part on the ship is your dad's nose." said the shade.

"So wait, I have to go steal my dad's nose?" I asked. That is a new theme for a game gods can play with their kids.

"Yes." said the shade. "We're nearing it as we speak. Currently your friends Annabeth and Thalia are holding their own in a remarkable way against Kronos' army. Alex has defeated his opponent and is cutting a swath through Kronos' forces. Oranos and Kronos and still trapped in a stale mate battle."

"Wait, how do you know all this?" I asked. Those death answer all questions? I didn't think so. I always argued that if death answered all questions, it should also answer the question of how to return to live.

"I know much." said the shade. "For instance, I could tell you of what kind of importance you are amongst the hero's of old."

"Yeah, like I'm the greatest hero of all time." I said sarcastically.

"No, that's Prometheus's brother." said the shade "You are the four."

"I'm the what?" I asked. Okay, This is getting to weird. This dead guy is telling tales.

"You're the four." he repeated patiently. 'The fourth greatest hero who ever lived. First was, Thryanes, the first and greatest hero of all time, who invented the very concept of sacrificing for others for no personal gain. Next was Hercules, the strongest warrior ever, who was driven to madness by Hera, and then atoned for what he never meant to do. Then there was Odysseus, the only hero who hated fighting, the hero who wanted only peace and prosperity for his people but was betrayed by another so called hero. Then you, and adolescent and easily amused boy." Ha. Adolescent is a funny word. Wait, what? 

"Right." I said evenly. "So, that is pretty awesome I guess. But you were a hero right. Who were you?" I asked. Creepy. It's times like these you almost forget I'm talking to a dead guy.

"I'm Thryanes." said the shade evenly. 'And no, I was not the one who said I was the greatest hero of al time. Achilles first said it and everyone else agreed."

"Wait, then why were you send to Tartuarus?" I asked.

"Because there were humans, and I stood against the titans for them. The titans took a dim view of it. Of course, when Hades took the realm of the dead, he made my life, or lack of it, a lot easier. He tried to get approval at a meeting for me to be send out of Tartuarus, but Zeus said that would give the titans a chance to escape and he won't take such risk for one pathetic mortal. Now, Hades has given me a second chance."

"But why would helping me get you out?" I asked. "Because, when your father leaves Tartuarus, I can leave with him. But for that, I would have to be at the place he is going to be resurrected. So I will, while you hunt for the pieces, guide and teach you and Annabeth and Thalia. Only don't tell Alex. I'd rather not face him."

Sure I interrupted him a couple of times, but still. Some damn good monolouging there. Damn fine monlouging. We continued walking until we reached a door. "Behind this door?" I asked.

"Yes. It's time to steal your dad's nose." said the shade and went through the door.

Thankfully, my power over had allowed me to make Timmy drift to me. I had to wait like, two minutes. When Timmy arrived, I slid the blade into the keyhole, and enlarged the sword, smashing the lock. You won't believe how smash able small intricate, unpick able locks are.

"Eww." I said. "They keep my dad's nose in the filter?" No offence, but this type of thing just shows you how little class Luke has.

"No." said the shade of Thryanes. "I believe this is the container that they mix with gas to make soft tricks." Okay, guess it is better to keep my nose out of other people's soda business. Yes! I just realized how many potential body part puns I can construct!

I slashed through the container with Riptide, and took out my dad's nose. I renarrate, ew. "We must go." said Thryanes' shade. "Kronos will have placed safeguards to alert him you stole the nose." Great. Now I have my father's nose in more ways than one. Whoo! I'm on a roll!

"Wait, if he has safeguards, why didn't they just kill me?" I asked.

"Because, he supposed you might try to steal the parts and although he really doesn't want Poseidon to return, he also really needs you alive." Okay. That settles that. "Now Perseus, it's time we leave the heroic persona, and get the fuck out of here."

We started running through the corridors, using my sea compass and Thryanes' memory to ensure we ran in the right direction. "Stop!" yelled a phalanx of heavily armed half bloods. He then laughed. "Right Percy, I know your stupid but even you can count. Give up, or get shot down." As if to emphasize his point, four guys at the back pointed their bows in my direction.

Suddenly they froze. In snarling positions. "Isn't this a Kodak moment?" asked Oranos, who smiled sincerely at me.

"My Lord." I said, and got on one knee. In case your wondering, I had dissed Oranos before. He kept me in 2:55 for seven hours. It was very annoying.

"Don' worry Percy, I won't do that again." said Oranos. For a second he stared at where Thryanes was standing, but then returned his eyes to the prize. Me.

"He can't see or hear me." said Thryanes. "No one can unless I let them, and at the moment I'm only letting you."

"So if I speak to you I'll look like a complete idiot?" I asked.

"You already do." said Thryanes. "Oh yeah, I think Oranos is getting suspicious."

"No Percy, I swear I won't freeze you at one of your less presentable times." said Oranos. "Now come on. We have three minutes before Zeus gets Kronos out."

We started running. I wonder in what they put him. Probably not in a corner where he could think of how bad he's been for the past seven hundred thousand years. Oranos froze everyone who came in our way. With two minutes to spare we jumped on to land.

"So we got Oranos back and this really neat pen." said Alex. "All in all, a pretty good quest."

**Author Notes: Sorry bout the delay. I forgot to mention on my last chapter that I had exams. Wow. This is the longest chapter I ever wrote. Hope you enjoyed it.**

**A great and terrible beauty: My favorite chapter is Thunderstruck. Jeff is my favorite non canon character.**


	9. Dark lord of unspecified modern things

**The dark lord of ****an unspecified modern thing **

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain. All trademarks are properties of their respective owners, respectively.**

Well, Oranos is back, I now have my father's nose in more ways than one, and for some reason, Josh is wearing some pants that I swear used to belong to me. Huh. Weird. I don't get this. I now have so called guardian "guy who died over thirty thousand give or take years ago." And apparently he's to blame for humanity. I think, I think I'm neither good or evil. I think, I'm just jaded. Just jaded. Back to my life!

"Percy, what happened on the ship?" asked Josh. He was looking at me strangely. It was almost calculating...or maybe he just developed a facial twitch. That sometimes happens when he tries to look at things from a normal person's perspective. Usually he then claims the wall looks exactly the same. Then it turns into a debate about weather or not everyone sees the same colours and then we're really fucked.

"Long story." I said. "Let's just say I need to go find my dad's body now."

"No you won't." said Alex. "Percy, I don't think you realise what just happened there." Woah. It must be important. Otherwise he wouldn't wait for me to get though a severe life threatening situation before telling me.

"How can you be back this quickly anyway?" asked Thalia. Hmm. I was wondering about that myself.

Oranos grimaced. "You've never seen a god or titan die before have you Thalia?" he asked, falling into a step. We followed cautiously. Something about him, was unsettling.

"When the kind of power a god wields is destroyed, something in the fabric of the world has to pay the price. I'm the symbol of time. When, I fell, all areas which are affected by magical time were send into overdrive and flung back. We just so happened to be in one of them. My body, was only partially damaged. I believe that's how Zeus got his titan army out past Hades. But he was lying. He hasn't gathered all the titans. Only a few of them. The worst ones."

We reached a mountain. It was strange. I guess Grover would have loved it but, it's just a bit too natural for me. The entire mountain, was green. As if the mountain was extremely nauseous. Maybe the mountain had walked in on Clarisse while she was showering. But, how would a mountain walk into a bathroom? How would a mountain walk? Why am I asking myself these questions? Anyway, back to the scenery description. Anyway, we were now walking through a thick and thriving forest. Most of the plants had close to giant leaves. Something was really strange about this forest.

"Welcome." said Alex. "To the forest of the amazons."

"Why is it so close to where the Princess Andromeda was?" asked Annabeth.

"That's what we're going to find out." said Alex. " He obviously wanted something from them. We need to find out what. The amazons have access to just about anything."

Josh was walking along causally. I wondered if his parents knew were he was? "Percy." whispered Annabeth. "What happened to you during that fight, thing?" she asked.

"Annabeth, I'm, I'm confused." I admitted. "I was thinking about something Kronos said. About how humans are messing up the planet. It's just that, that Grover said pretty much the same thing. Remember? When were out searching for the lightning thief?"

"Yeah." she began uncertainly. "But, they meant differently didn't they? Grover wants to help us. Kronos wants to destroy us. Grover wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Yeah." I agreed. "Still it was a little"

"Be quiet." said Oranos suddenly. "Someone else is here."

"Is she hot?" asked Josh. Wait! How did Josh know it's a she? I'm starting to get a bit suspicious about my supposed mortal friend... or did he just make that assumption based on the fact we're in the forest of the amazons? I will never know.

"I don't know." said Oranos. "It's either a god or a goddess. Or some huntress. Be quiet and follow." said Oranos, and we walked onwards through the dark and completely friendly looking forest.

We walked in complete silence for about two hours. Alex sometimes shot random bursts of fire through the trees and Annabeth kept nervously clutching her knife. Josh kept laughing at the funny pasterns some of the plants leaves make. Thalia tried to kill him twice. Finally we reached the huts of, wait, why is their a giant corporate headquarters thing in the middle of the huts?

"Welcome, to the home of the amazons." said Alex. "That's where they run their damned website."

"What website?" I asked.

"Amazon. com." said Oranos. "Duh. Anyway, lets go."

What the. Okay what the hell. "Wait, I thought headquarters' was in Seattle." I looked at the in an inquisitive way. Now I need someone else to look at inquisitively to tell me what inquisitive means. "I heard rumours and decided to find out if they were true." she said. "The Hermes kids told me all kinds of stuff. But usually they just want to laugh as you call Nike and demand that they stop using Nymph labour." Okay then.

"With enough money you can make people believe anything." said Alex. Several of the amazons walked forwards a she approached. Most of them were woman and wore business suits.

"Greetings Lord Prometheus." said one of the woman. She had long red hair and broad shoulders. "I'm the Ceo and Chieftain of our fair village. We are honoured by your presence. Is there any particular reason for your visit?" she asked, in a crisp voice, the kind business people use when they want you to know they're about to ruin you, but you have no right to be offended about it.

Alex looked around. "I take it Artemis is here?" he asked.

She nodded slightly. "I shall take you to her." She started walking at a slowish pace towards the large building. That's when my battle shaped attention span came in to seventh gear. You know how you sometimes feel unconscious as you're walking? No imagine that, except, you notice everything. When they're ceo moved, about twenty woman in army gear with a mixture of shot guns and semi automatic rifles moved through the forest. They were really good. I only noticed most of them when Josh pointed at them. Damn. I guess courtesy is mandatory here, unless you are low on iron and need to eat some hot lead.

The buildings automatic doors slid open. "Something is wrong with your titan." said Josh, smiling weirdly. He was looking at Oranos. "He seems hurt." It was strange but Oranos was holding his side slightly. It was hard to see.

"So how does your uh, village work?" asked Annabeth, looking around the building in awe. I'm no fun of fancy architecture, but I know big companies have fancy fountains and marble floors. This place had the works with a mixture of marble and steel roofs. There was also a room that we passed full of old weapons.

"We have a ruling business confederate." said the Ceo. "We started the website as a way for half bloods to acquire rare items, and when we realised how effective and profitable internet business could be we branched out. We now primarily use our profits to increase the area of wilderness we own." Hmm. Weird. "Here you are." she said stepping aside and letting Alex and Oranos enter first. Me, Thalia, Annabeth and Josh followed.

"My lady, some visitors request your presence." said the Ceo/Chieftain. Sitting on a throne, or a very fancy chair was Artemis. She was wearing her usual army pants with a black shirt and old lace shoes. Her blonde hair was tied back with a bandanna.

"Hello Artemis." said Alex politely.

"Sup." said Oranos, inspecting his finger coolly.

"Dude, she made a pact." said Alex. "About the whole, you know, thing."

"Oh, right." said Oranos and gazed at Artemis politely.

She gazed at them coldly. "What do you two want?" she asked.

" Casltevania 4." said Alex.

"Your love." said Oranos.

"A device, possible quite small, filled with wine gums." said Alex.

"The best damn thing." said Oranos.

"A lawn depressing service." said Alex.

"Why would you want a lawn depressing service?" asked Oranos.

"So my lawn can cut itself." said Alex.

"You should call Hades. He has a scythe. He should be able to help you cut your grass." said Oranos.

Artemis sighed. "I hate you both." she said. "If you're just here to make sad attempts at humour, then you should leave. Before I get angry. " It sounded like this kind of thing happened a lot.

"Just kidding around." said Alex. "Now, why was Luke and his little monster army here?"

Artemis looked up. "Why do you think they've been here?" she asked nervously.

"We think they want to crush the amazons." said Oranos. "There are only so many left who could even try to mount a resistance against Kronos' army. I'm afraid if Luke's army is ready to take on the amazons, then it's over." All of us stared at him. We had never lost. He was acting as though we were the ones doing badly in this war.

"But can't you two deal with them?" asked Thalia. She looked, as usual a little disgusted by the ways the god/ slash slightly modernizing titan fire guy were acting.

"Do you think what we did on that ship was an actual victory?" asked Alex he was looking at me with a mixture of pity and anger. It created a weird expression. "We did exactly what he thought we would do, and I'm sorry you paid the price for it." said Alex, looking down slightly. All three of us looked at him questioningly. "I'll explain when we're back at camp again. When we're safe." Alex suddenly turned around to face Artemis as if nothing had happened.

"So Zeus and Kronos are definitely attacking you then?" he asked.

"Yes." said Artemis. "He's nearly succeeded in beating us."

"Ah." said Oranos. "So he's attacking you with monsters, turned half bloods and minor evil deities?"

"Worse." said Artemis. "He's attacking with corporate buyouts, mudslinging in the papers and selling our stock at discount price. If it continues he could force us into bankruptcy. He would of course be the first buyer. Then Luke could just walk in and if we resist…he could call in the authorities. My warriors are good, but they're small in number. If they find out the amazons are hiding here, we would either be forced to leave or risk fighting an army with guns that could kill us. Even if we could win Luke would probably bribe enough to let him just borrow a couple of missiles and nuke the forest."

"Wait, why doesn't he just to that anyway?" I asked.

"Because it's not his territory." said Alex. " Percy, it's hard, but the minor gods territories are determined by what people believe. Hades and Poseidon insisted on that when the big three divided the world. That way, all the minor gods could have representative cities, and not get them destroyed whenever a family squabble occurs. I remember one time, Ares wanted to crush Athens and started this stone pamphlet series and"

Artemis frowned and lifted a pager. "It would seem that the company that's buying us out has sent a representative. Not the usual mortal one." she looked over at them. "It seems you two arrived at the nick of time."

"Time has a nick?" asked Oranos. "Why wasn't I informed? I am the lord of time, you know." 

"It's an expression." said Alex. "Come on. Let's go deal with it. Our way." He drew his sword and smiled, for some reason, at Josh. "Let's go." We walked back. The people we saw looked slightly terrified but didn't act like it. There was no panic running, just a sort of urgent shuffle to go find any weapons they have.

We walked outside. A tall grey figure stood there. His hair was spiked and gelled. It was also bright blue. "Hey dad. And Rocky too. Nice." said the guy, smiling arrogantly. The bastard. That's my style of smile.

"Graymar." said Oranos with a sigh. "Where's you sister?" he asked.

"Didn't make the trip." said Graymar smiling. "Didn't know you guys were in the business world."

"Yeah. We're venture capitalists. You might have seen us in various gaint corporations. Cause we like venturing into the bathrooms and stealing the soap." He looked puzzled for a moment. "What were, or are you the titan of anyway?"

He looked agitated for a moment. "Don't start with this." he said coldly.

"Seriously what?" asked Oranos.

" I'm the lord of an unspecified modern thing." said Graymar angrily. "I haven't figured out what the hell is going with my power yet, kay?" he said angrily.

"We're facing the dark lord of an unspecified modern thing." said Alex. "We're doomed."

**Author Notes: Sorry about the long delay in updating. Trying to write three stories at once and keeping track of the plots are hard. This one got a little screwed up, but next chapter will pretty much explain everything.**** Except for why Josh stole Percy's pants. Graymar' has the same problem Alex has, but it hasn't affected him for as long.**


	10. The gods damn it

**The gods damn it**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain**

Why is it that my life seems to be controlled by puns? Never mind. I'm all for living in chaos and being in a constant fight for my life. But once in a while, you want to know why you're fighting. Or why liquorice hurts so much when you hit yourself with it. I mean, it's candy! What the hell?! Anyway, as you may have guessed, for some strange reason the titans aren't used to, or liking civilization. They leave the earth for a couple of eons and when they came back, bang! Civilization. Not they're environment. Of course, the titanly way of dealing with that is not to adjust yourself, but to adjust your environment. Back to my life!

Graymar's eyes narrowed. " You know, I've been away for the past seven millennia and I still feel like it's hasn't been long enough. Can't you two just die? What to we have to do?" Seven millennia? What was he the titan of, dinosaurs? Gah! He's stolen my wit!

" See you haven't used that time to work out your issues." said Oranos. He looked odd, a mixture of confusion of unease. "Surely Kronos wouldn't waste one such as you on such a simple task?"

Graymar grinned. "Oh, but this is of the utmost importance. Even for you. If we find out what we're looking for, we might share."

Alex shivered slightly. "The ship." he said bitterly. "Very well. I wish you the best of luck, and an only a slightly excruciating death." Hmm. That was oddly polite of Alex.

"That's why Kronos approached Percy." said Oranos suddenly. "That's why you captured me…." What? Are they insinuating that the evil lord of titans wouldn't want my services without having ulterior motives? The bastards!

"Finally you're connecting the dots." said Graymar. "You know perfectly well that this benefits both of us. You don't want to stop me."

"Actually." sighed Alex. "Actually we do. We'll find out in other ways." His eyes flashed with fire. "There are other ways. Tell Kronos that. Tell him to go to my rock. He will understand."

"We have to go." said Oranos. "It's time that Alex brings us back up to speed. Did you get the gate hinge?"

"Yeah, but that vaults security was pathetic." said Thalia. "It was too easy." She looked over at Alex.

Oranos lifted his eyebrows. "Well, Prometheus can't steal the gate hinge himself, but he can certainly weaken the defences. Now come. Back to camp half blood." I don't know how or why, but suddenly all three of us fell unconscious. The last thing I saw was a flash of fire. We woke up in Camp Half blood. Only one thing bothered me. I hadn't seen Josh since our meeting with Artemis.

Alex and Oranos were talking extremely fast in a language I didn't even begin to understand. Mr. D was also sitting but it seemed he was having a difficulty keeping up with them. Hades nodded occasionally but every now and then he shook his head and seemed to give up. He caught my gaze. "Titanish." he said. "Language these bastards spoke before Rethia invented ancient Greek."

"Actually we called it Enoch." said Oranos. "It's the primal language from which all other language were formed."

"It's sound primal." said Mr. D. "It's like when these brats talk. You can try and understand, but all in all, it's much easier to just fantasise about using vines to rip their heads of and then letting their blood feed the next generation of grapes."

" Right." said Alex. He flexed his tongue a little, as if the language was not something that was actually meant to be spoken, and thus took it's wrath out on Alex's tongue.

" Percy we need to talk. It's very important."

"There isn't going to be hugging right?" asked Mr. D. "I'd rather leave if there was hugging."

"No." said Alex. "No hugging." Damn. Just cold hard facts as opposed to soft warm hugs. "Percy, you need to understand why Kronos tried to get into your mind. Whatever he said was just a distraction. He hoped that in you mind would lie some-

Oranos cut him off with a warning look. "Information." continued Alex. " About how the titans are supposed to get they're powers back into control and how to avoid the effects the ah, western civilization is having on the ones that returned."

"Wait." asked Annabeth. 'What are you talking about? Can Kronos read our minds?" Ah ha! So someone is trying to hide their love for me from Kronos! I'm still in the game!

" Yes." said Oranos. "But he has to be close enough to do it."

"Can you two do it?" asked Thalia. Oh damn. This may explain why me and Alex's styles always complimented each others. Not that that's a bad thing. We owned at the fashion show. Stupid conservative judge. Leather shouldn't be on fire. Please.

"Yes." said Alex. " But we don't mess around with it. We don't even joke about it. We pretty much try and not do it. Humans minds are, fragile." said Alex. "If we make one mistake then your ability to think at all is fucked up. It happened before." There was obviously a story here. Hopefully it involves ska music.

"Wait, so does this mean Kronos pretty much decided he could just screw around with my mind?" I asked. If I said I didn't mind, it would be a lie. Gah! There it is again! The bastard stole my wit!

Alex gave a half smile. His dark hair glistened slightly. It was disorientating, but he looked way to much like Kronos. "Percy, Kronos is far better at that kind of thing than we are. Believe me." Once again, I have the feeling there's a story here. Or a ska band.

"Now why was it so easy getting Oranos off the boat?" I asked. My life was in mortal peril several times but hey, we can't all be superstars.

"Kronos didn't really kill me." said Oranos. "He captured me and kept me in that damn cupboard. It was incredibly stuffy."

"I can imagine." said Alex. "He always wears those dark cloaks and twice woven vests. They must gather dust like, I don't know dust mites. Or a villains home."

"And it was cramped." said Oranos, nodding. "The bastard." 

"But why would he keep you alive?" asked Thalia. "Uh, I mean why won't he bring you as close to the point of destruction that a Titan can go too."Hmm. No wonder they have they're own language.

"He kept me alive because he needed a test subject. He needed to figure out if the effects the Western world is having on us titans could be stopped. He actually planned your saving me in his original plans. And that's the problem." said Oranos bitterly. "The second he figures out how he can conquer the world without changing unwillingly, he will."

"Yeah, but what do I have to do with it?" I asked. Now, it's time to tremble, because it always seems the star of the show i.e. me, always has some kind of awesome mortal danger hanging over their heads. It may seem that us hero's greatest abilities are to overcome these insurmountable odds. That's untrue. Our greatest ability is to never go into panic attacks, nervous breakdowns, excruciating deaths or any other minor inconveniences

"I said change unwillingly." said Oranos. "Percy, that prophecy says you'll end the age of the gods. It doesn't say you'll deliver us into the age of the titans. So, Kronos and Zeus are trying to figure out how to become something… more." He seemed almost uncertain about the words he was using. I would too. What does a titan with almost omnipotent powers strive to be?

Alex smiled grimly. "I know this will take a while before it makes sense." said Alex. "But Kronos was, once very very very, long ago, in a completely different time era and, uh, system of morals and other ethical stuff, a noble and wise ruler." He looked as if he didn't want to say it but Oranos prodded him. "But lets say laying on the ground in a thousand pieces in a never ending agony has made him extremely bitter." Well, if he pulled himself together earlier we wouldn't be in this mess.

"Yeah, but it began a while before that." said Alex. "Around the time Zeus was born he became downright unpleasant. Fell in with the wrong sort of crowd. Used cruelty as a way of amusing himself. Fucked a horse. Started calling me fat." Alex shook his head in sadness. "I never thought he would become that bitter but." He shrugged. "He's just proof that any can fall. Like Oranos is proof that they can also be redeemed." Hmm. I always wondered how Chiron came to be.

"Now rest." said Hades, looking at each of us. Most of the other campers have returned and they magical border will be raised. But don't lose hope. Disney land still stands, and while it stands, there is hope. If it falls, you're screwed." Ah, now we get the cold and impersonal part.

I nestled myself comfortably on the pillows and. Dammit! Alex and Oranos had drawn all over my body with, holy shit is that blood? No, blood leaves stains. It's probably something else. Maybe Alex tried to dye his hair Auburn while taking of my clothes and sliding me into this rather tight but oh so soft Spiderman boxer shorts. I hope it was Alex. Think Percy think! Hmmm, I once ate a biscuit. Wait. "Alex, are you trying to read my mind?" I yelled.

"Just trying to show you I can." said Alex. " Kronos was probably a lot more, refined." Damn right. It was like the difference between silk and cotton, between water and air, between the merely adequate and the simply easily tired overpriced crap. Hmm. Ignore last analogy. I'm not even sure what I mean anymore. Stupid Alex.

"Oh yeah." said Hades before he left. " Percy, your dad left you a message."

"Oh." I said. I tried to stop myself from sounding to eager or worse, squeky. "What was it?"

"I think it went something along the lines of you stupid half brain give me my nose back." said Hades, shrugging. "Now, if you'll excuse me." He left, limping slightly. But this was Hades. He could have seventeen stab wounds and four nipple twists and he'll still act like it's relaxing. His breathing gave it away. It was way to heavy. As if something had crushed his ribs.

"I know." said Alex, winking at me. "He is very proud of his pride."

"Get out of my mind." I said throwing him with a one's of the shoes that were laying next to my bed. Alex didn't even move as the shoe flew past him.

"You know, your shoe throwing abilities would be a lot more fearsome if you could actually aim." said Alex. Damn. I may have a challenger to a battle of wits. _No you don't._ Alex, get out of my fucking head!

"Uh, Alex, can you please stay out of Percy's head?" asked Annabeth. "It's getting weird."

"Yeah, get out of the Sea weed brain." said Thalia.

"Dear Poseidon." I said. "I hoped you forgot that nick name."

"I'll be sure to use it now." said Thalia with an evil glint in her eyes.

"It's not very creative." said Oranos. "I dismiss it. Hence force he shall be known as Corral chin and Fish face."

"Corral chin doesn't roll of the tongue and Fish face is too general." said Alex. "I give that six outta ten." Weird. I thought it would be like five. Wait, they're insulting me!

"Did we really just abandon our discussion on how to save the Western world so we can think up new nick names for you to annoy me with?" I asked.

"What about Iguana ears?" asked Oranos, who didn't seem satisfied with his previous points.

Alex looked confused. "What is an Iguana?" he asked.

"I blame you for this." I told Thalia. She just grinned. "Okay!" I yelled. "Can we get back to the fact that we're all doomed and you two haven't any idea what to do?"

"Thankfully this possibility has occurred to us. So while Kronos and Luke weren't looking I planted several military grade explosives on the Ship." said brandishing a detonator. "Now I'm pushing the detonator." He pushed the detonator. A large explosion seemed to come from the south.

"You didn't forget the stuff in the Ares cabin right?" asked Oranos.

"Man, it's a total blank. So, new master plan?" asked Alex.

"New master plan." nodded Oranos. "So back to finding degrading nick names for Percy."

" Did you guys damn the Ares offspring are do you just not like them?" asked Thalia. Annabeth's mouth still hanged slightly.

"No we've been putting them in near death situations all year because we like their style." said Alex rolling his eyes. " It's not personal Annabeth. See, when Ares damned or cursed or whatever you want to call it, let's just go with damned. When he damned Percy a few years ago, he got , certain ….privileges. Lets just day the old rules lets him do whatever he wants to get to Percy. He can even cross into another gods domain. And Ares may take things personally and ignore Kronos' orders that Percy is not to be killed or crippled. " Alex sighed. "It's pretty ancient actually. The second a mortal wrongs a god, he's life belongs to that god unless another god is willing to protect him. Therefore we make a constant point of reminding Ares that if he touches you, everything he holds dear will be destroyed."

"Besides, it's fun." said Oranos. I am so thankful that my friends care so much for my well being.

"That's why I guarded you two years ago." said Alex. "With another child of the prophecy in position I was sure Ares would consider it a risk worth taking."

"So why didn't I have a guardian this time?" I asked.

Alex grinned. "Because, now neither side wants you dead. Ares kills you, he has nowhere to run, hide, crawl or other wise avoid me." he said. "Now, get some sleep. And don't worry about the western world. Worry about Disney world." Alex and Oranos left, and I suddenly realised it was night. Weird.

"Guess we should sleep." said Thalia. Eying the door, and looking as if she was fighting an intense inner battle. " Must keep head empty."

"They're gone." said Annabeth. She looked at both of us. "Are you two terrified too, or is it just me?"

"What?" I asked calmly. "We are almost certainly doomed and I'm covered in Auburn hair dye. It could be way worse." Damn straight. The hair dye could be platinum blonde. Ughh. Shudder, shudder. Ughh.

"Why was Hades limping?" asked Thalia suddenly. "If I'm worried, it's cause there is something out there who can beat the shit out of Hades. And I'm not even sure if Hades has left the camp." Damn. They're not going to let me sleep are they? Hmm, the only way out of this seems to be to think of a fool proof way of destroying Kronos or Zeus. Think Percy, think. Death doesn't work due to his immortality but what else do all people fear? It suddenly occurred to me.

"Annabeth, does Kronos pay taxes?" I asked. Yes, the one other thing all people are certain of. His annual tax alone should be in the millions! Unless he claimes for unemployment…..Stupid laze bastard.

"Percy you're an Idiot." said Annabeth with a sense of finality.

**Author Notes: I apologise for the delay in writing chapters, but my exams, are as of now, finally finished. Yay. I also can't unfortunately read most of the new stories, for fear of spoiler, for due to an astonishing display of delayeditness, Titans curse hasn't reached South Africa yet. I guess that makes this fic and AU. Oh, yeah, Percy Blink t-shirt featured a picture of Tom, Mark, and Travis and the words punk poets in pink. Oh yeah, Kronos'back story is very important.**


	11. Alex acts his age

**Alex acts his age**

**Disclaimer****: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain. I've also read Titans curse, and am thus introducing some new elements to the story.**

Sometimes, you just lie down and wonder. Wonder about the world. Sometimes you do. That's pretty much all I don when I'm not be chased, hunted, barbequed, mutilated, or tax audited. Stupid plan with Kronos backfired. Anyway, it sometimes comes to a point when you read a book that features an Alternative universe with the way your life could've gone, to make you realise just how fucked up your life is. And for some stupid reason, I get the feeling that in both universes Annabeth still has feelings for Luke. Stupid universes. Back to my life!

"Psst Percy." said Alex shaking me. "Wake up!" I sat up groggily. Suddenly Alex threw at least seven buckets of water over me. I felt energised and pissed.

"Alex, what was that for?" I asked, now feeling like I was awake for the past hour.

" You need to wake up." said Alex grimly. "It's time for me to help you train." What? Train with Alex? That sounds like trying to train in vain. I mean, sure Alex was strong and had fire stuff, but I'm pretty sure I'm a better swordsman. He doesn't really have a fighting style. Mostly he just slashes until his enemies stop moving.

"Are you sure about this? Should I train with Annabeth or Thalia like I usually do?" I asked.

"Not today." said Alex, his picking up his own pace. I noticed most of the other campers, definitely all the ones who specialised in swords had woken up. Man, I wish Alex gave me time to put on a new shirt. Or shower. Or maybe we could play god of war 2 again. Huh. he's still pissed that we couldn't just free him. And that the graphics guy couldn't capture the essence that is the pleasure of Alex's presence. No, I don't know if he's still in my mind, but you can't be too sure.

" Is there any reason for this strange urge you have to train me? Any more sinister plots to destroy humanity I should know about?" I asked.

"Percy, we have a year and a half left before the prophecy becomes fulfilled." He looked me straight tin the eyes. "I don't intent for your life to be nothing more than a prophecy and some useless gratitude from ungrateful idiots. I don't want you to just end with that prophecy. I want you to live afterwards." said Alex, and he looked agitated. Thin trails of fire were licking his arms and all the cabins seemed to be shaking from the foundations upwards.

"Okay." I said. "Someone is a tad on the agitated side." Understatement, I know. But, that is what gives undeniable strength to my argument. I don't know what my argument is yet, but when I do, it will be really strong.

Alex didn't answer, instead leading me into the centre of the camp. He flicked his hand and the campers who were coming into our personal space backed off. Most of them went and sat on the edges. What did Alex want them here for? I hope it involves Fritos.

" From this day forward you training is going to be considerably harder.' said Alex. " Kronos' merry band of monsters and traitors are getting ready to attack something, and we want all of you to be ready. Be assured that Hades and Oranos will do everything we can to delay them, but eventually the fight will come to you. In that fight, we won't be able to interfere unless one of them decides to challenge us. And believe me. None of them are that brave. Or as stupid as we are." Alex eyed me. He looked older at the moment. Stress was getting to him. Alex was acting his age. Alex was turning back into Prometheus.

Mr. D came forward. "Yeah. Now, are you going to beat Percy up yet or is there no light at this tunnel of perpetual misery?" Beat me up? Yeah, that's a nice way to insure I save them the ungrateful bastards.

"I got the ambrosia squares!" said Grover joyfully, and then he saw me. "Uh, you know I love you right Percy?" he asked. Damn. Even the G man had turned against me.

"Percy, I'm not going to beat you up." said Alex. "I'm going to fight you in an even fight. Neither of us will use our powers. We have enough ambrosia to ensure neither of us have to hold back." Oh crap.

"Uh, okay, as much as I love fighting immortal warriors may I ask if there is a reason for this?" I asked with a sense of resignation. I already know what Alex would say.

" Because these campers need to see what they're up against. I'm not worried about them fighting monsters. They've done that plenty of times. I'm worried about them being forced to fight the traitors, their old friends and brothers and sisters. But mostly you Percy. You've faced Luke enough times to know that you don't stand a chance against him in one on one combat." Alex sighed. "Besides, both of us are out of practice."

Several of the Ares campers looked at with a sort of respect. Their cabin and all of their belongings had been incredibly repaired, and they thought it was just a joke. But they obviously remembered him when he was in their cabin. Clarisse mouthed something lie "you're so gonna get it." at me. I drew out Riptide and legenthend Timmy. Man, that should not be taken of context.

"You seem really sure that you're going to win." I said, sounding a bit braver than I felt. I really didn't know who would win. I'm may be more skilled, look better and have a dashing and oh so graceful style, but, what was I on about again?

"That's the spirit Percy. Pessimism only lowers your chances. The only time you should use pessimism is when convincing other to run away." said Alex, tossing off his jacket, and taking out his own black sword.

"Bring it own Flame Boy." I said, giving a half grin. This was the kind of training Alex wanted me to be put through. I'm not going to be attacked by stick dummies, and I'm not going to fight a war in controlled circumstances. The only thing that bothers me about this is that Alex is pretty much pulling a Dumbledore, with all this greater good crap. I would actually enjoy a bit of titanly competition, but not with everyone watching.

"You're going down Corral Chin." said Alex, grinning and throwing his hair back for good measure. Hah. He flipped his hair. The bastard.

"Hello All." said Chiron, happily trotting into the arena. "I wish you all enjoy the first annual titan Half blood face off! In this corner, the Dark Fire of all life, the fire that lives in all peoples hearts, the embodiment of hell, the dashingly good looking lord of Fire, civilization and ridicule, the original prankster, Lord Prometheus! Also known to some of you as Alex Hemmingfield. And in the other corner, Percy Jackson!" Fuck. Alex got more cheers than me. And titles.

"Boo! You suck!" yelled someone from the Ares cabin and threw me with a cd. " And please bleed all over that fucking Justin Timberlake Cd!" Huh. I see they still haven't forgiven me for that. Oh well.

"Percy!" yelled Thalia. "Remember Alex's weakness!" Of course! I should give him a good kick in the liver!

Okay. Time to see who would win in a fair fight. Me, or the only warrior who survived two full scale god revolutions. In times like these, it's better not to think, but to simply attack the bastard. Alex fought with his sword in his right hand, and his left hand armoured in some kind of glove. He was grinning. I raised my swords He, with a single jump landed in front of me and slashed down. I caught his sword on Timmy and slashed at his side with riptide. But he jumped back wards, and I started to feel my adrenalin building. I slashed forwards, forcing Riptide down, Timmy up, and then and then pulled my arms up, meaning the not even I was sure where the sword points would connect. Alex deflected Riptide with his sword and swerved as I brought Timmy down, almost grazing his shoulder. His sword suddenly flashed, and a thin trickle of blood went down my left arm.

"First blood to me." he said grinning. Fuck. The blood missed the JT cd. Not that was bloody unfortunate., I know, not witty, but I can only divert so much of my mental brilliance to narration, I have to concentrate on the fight too.

I shook my head and jumped. Really hard. I bring both swords on straight on Alex, whose sword shivered when he blocked, but didn't move. "Come on Percy." he said, grinning, like he was really enjoying himself. "If I wanted you to fly, I would've given you wings."

"Less talking, more losing." I said, swirling Riptide at his arm, but stopping at the last minute and giving a solid thrust with Timmy, while still swirling Riptide. Alex parried Riptide, but I managed to grazed his arm, but the leather held firm. He had leather elbow pads on his left arm Dammit. We continued fighting like this for about ten minutes, and let me tell you, if you really want a work out, try fighting someone who has more than thirty thousand years of sword fighting experience. After a while it wasn't skill that was keeping me in there. Skill stops helping you when your opponent starts moving too fast for you to think.

It think we pretty much fought like that for about a half our with me bruising Alex but I still hadn't drawn any blood. Alex got to more cuts in on my ribs and another one on my right leg. But I was getting tired. I don't know how Alex felt but he stopped taunting me a while ago. Both of us stopped everything else and just fought. Finally it was beginning too end.

In the movies, sword fights end with one of the guys pulling off some amazing moves. That's stupid. Me and Alex's fight like just about any other fight. Messily. I was concentrating when I noticed something. There was a gap in Alex's defence. He always raised his right arm after just before he thrusted. And when he raised it this time I slashed as quick as I could into the opening. A thin trail of blood formed on Alex stomach. But he knew I was going to do that because he didn't thrust. He grabbed Timmy with his other arm and my reach was too far. He forced the sword back and a massive gash formed on my chest, and I fell backwards.

I heard a scream that was probably Annabeth. I felt like my entire body was split open. "Well that ruined the shirt." I said, trying to not black out.

Alex stood over me. "I win." he said, popping an ambrosia square into my mouth. "But you fought well. And I think we gave these guys enough of a scare to insure they don't slack off."

I looked up at him blearily. "Enough to convince them to fight they're former friends?" I asked. "We're not soldiers. Not really. We're just tools for the gods."

Alex nodded and popped another ambrosia square in my mouth.Ohh! Melony! " Yeah, but I'm not a god am I? Neither of us are, although we both look divine." Damn straight. Well, It seems like a good fight was all Alex needed. But I'd really prefer it if he didn't use a method of stress relief that required my chest to be sliced open. Ah, that stings.

"What's the difference?" I asked. "Between you and gods?"

" Well, for one thing we're called titans." said Alex, but he seemed distant. "Anyway, you should get that cut checked out. See you at the lava wall." Alex left and another ambrosia square was popped into my mouth. I saw Annabeth leaning over me, looking like she was trying really hard not to throw up.

"Percy, you're" she began, but I cut her off.

"Yeah, I know .This shirt is ruined." I said. Stupid Alex. He could at least show some consideration while mortally wounding me.

"You need us to get you to water right?" said Thalia, who seemed it bit less disturbed by the blood that was no calmly dripping from my chest. Annabeth made a retching noise.

"What?" I said irritably. "It's just a flesh wound."

"I can see that." said Thalia darkly and Annabeth ran to the bathrooms.

"Poor girl." I said. "Probably worried that I will be scarred for life." Yeah. I may loose my drop dead and come back to life for a second look hotness, but I will always have me seemingly inexhaustible charisma.

"Okay." said Thalia, and picked me up. Hmm. This is, unmasculine. It bothered me sometimes, just who strong Thalia was. She would probably fit in perfectly with a bunch of deadly immortal huntresses or something. "I see the blood loss is causing you delusions."

"You can say that as many times as you want." I said, the edges of my vision fading slightly. Oh, wait, that was Thalia's hair falling in my face. "But you still want me."

"Yes, Percy." said Thalia, grinning as we stood over the river. " Have fun healing." she said, and tossed me bodily into the water. I instantly felt better, felt the wounds start to get patched up. I lay there for a while, wondering about something I just realised. Alex's blood was red. Not gold. It was different than the god's blood.

"Hello Percy." came a voice from the bank. Hades stood there, looking over the water.

"Hello." I said, stepping out of the water. Have you ever wanted to ask someone something, but the person you have to ask, is well intimidating? Now, imagine that, times a thousand. That's about how it feels when you ask Hades anything. "Uh, Lord, Hades, may I ask you something?"

"Why are you acting so formal?" asked Hades, still staring calmly ahead. "You're usually a lot calmer."

"It's about the Titans and Gods." I said. "Lord Hades, what is the difference between the two?" I stood really still, hoping that if he becomes really angry his hand of death will be al jittery and miss me.

Hades stood low and calm, his expression didn't change, but I suddenly felt scared. I mean unnaturally scared. It took all my self control to not run away. "There's only one thing."

"Does it have something to do with humans?" I asked, remembering something Alex had told me long ago, how it was changing him.

"Mortals?" asked Hades. "No, Percy. Alex invented mortals. He pretty much designed humanity. It was something far older that sets us apart."

"But, wasn't Alex's mom a human?" I asked, trying to desperately insert some uncommon sense into sense. It must be noted that in these kinds of situations, uncommon sense works a lot better than common sense.

Hades smiled. "Yes, but those humans were the work of Gaia. They were very different from even ancient humans. It was your friend Prometheus who changed all that. He gave humans complex emotions. But mostly he did something that was partially responsible for his being chained to a rock. Gaia made humans in the image of gods. Her first humans were intended to be servants and play things for the gods. Alex, Alex made humans to function like gods." he stood very still.

Function like gods? I can't think that we do that. "That can't be right, how would he." I began.

"Some still question the wisdom of it." said Hades. "And don't take it so literally. You're hollowing the point. What Alex did was give humans intelligence." He paused. "All those apes you dig up as proof of evolution were his first attempts."

"But." I began, desperately recalling some of what my science teachers tried to force on me. "But that stretches over hundreds of thousands of years." I said weakly. "I'm not sure Alex can do something that feels good over such a time."

Hades smiled. "Percy, I don't think you understand. That was pretty much all he could do. Kronos didn't trust him, and the rest of the titans, like Atlas and Hyperion, spent all their time fighting and destroying and living in gluttony." Hades shifted his gaze. " And back then, Alex was the deadly lord of fire known as Prometheus. You would not recognise him." Hades smiled suddenly, as if something had just occurred to him. "But we are getting off topic. If you truly want to know the difference between titans and gods, I suggest you ask Alex. And remember this. Oranos was the king of the titans. That doesn't mean he was a titan himself." I went back to my training, now being coached by Clarisse, who was trying to see how many sit ups and push ups it was physically possible for me too do. But I seriously need to talk to Alex.

That night, all of the campers, who were pretty much wiped out were eating at our banquet place thing. There were no speeches for some reason and both Hades and Mr.D were gone. Alex sat next to me.

"It wasn't my choice that we should fight in front of everyone." said Alex, helping himself to some pizza. "Mr. D insisted. Claimed it would be good for everyone. Raise everyone's morale." He seemed distracted, like he was not really listening to what he was saying.

I looked at him. He looked back. "So, you invented humanity?" I asked. "Invented is a strange word for it." I said. Damn right. It was more like he perfected some weird art.

"Yeah." said Alex. "Hard to believe. But I was bored. I needed something to do." he said, trying to get his old humour into it, but he was failing.

"Was it difficult?" I asked not sure weather I could ask about the gods/titans thing.

"Yeah.' he said. "But it's a good thing I'm a genius. Give me any mathematical problem and I'll do it, no problem."

"Uh, okay." I said. "What 4.23 times 2.78756?"

"Nine." said Alex, going back to his pizza.

"I'm pretty sure that's wrong." I said.

"I said I would do it. I didn't say I would do it right." said Alex.

"Okay." I gathered up my courage. Thank the god of your choice you'll probably never have talk to someone about something that's probably been a touchy subject for the past seven millennia. "So , just what is the difference between the gods and the titans?" I asked.

'What makes you think there is a difference?" asked Alex. "It could just be a different name for the same thing."

I smiled. "Then why is your blood red?"

Alex paused and he looked at me, and as the fire spread, I realised something. Fire was part of Alex's true divine form. He always referred to himself as the fire anyway, but if he loses his temper, then I don't want to know how fast I will disintegrate. "Percy, we are called the titans because Oranos cursed us all. After Kronos killed him, he cursed us. After Kronos cut off his, well after Kronos started to kill us, he cursed us. He said we lost the right to be called gods, and we were now the straining gods, the titans." He took a deep breath. "And to this day, not even he is sure what it means."

**Author Note****s: Yay!Another chapter. I initially thought this would be a short one, but it short of grew. I read The titans curse and a whole bunch of Mythology, and my plot is slightly altered but still about the same. Anyway, in the next chapter, Alex reveals more about his past and Hades faces the only thing he ever feared.**


	12. The deadly alliance

**The deadly alliance**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain**

When you really look back on Alex, or Prometheus designing humanity, you suddenly realise we are the result of intelligent design by an idiot. That explains so much. But it, ones again makes me wonder about Alex's ungoddlikeness. Sure he's a titan, but you know what I mean. Back to my life!

"So, why doesn't Oranos just curse Zeus then?" I asked.

"Aren't you even in the least bit curious about the thousands of years old curse that has been placed on me?" asked Alex.

"Yeah, but I like thinking in a forward direction." I said. "So why doesn't he?"

Alex gave a harsh smile. "A forward direction. When will humans realise that looking back is just looking forward in another direction?"

"Uh, is that a metaphor, or a simile?" I asked. Nw chec out my mad langausgs skilss.

"The point is Percy," said Alex. "That most people don't realise that whatever has happened has probably happened before. But too your other question. Percy, have you ever wondered why Zeus, who managed to call the first Pegasus out of thin, doesn't create anymore monsters? Or why Hades doesn't simply break the wall between the living and dead and crush Luke's army? Or why Ares doesn't simply use his powers to make Luke's army truly invincible?"

"Uh, because they don't want to?" I asked. Hum. I am saying uh a lot. It's still better than the time I realised that I am, in fact so sexy it hurts and started yelling "Ahh! The pain!" all the time.

"Because it's war. And in these wars all the gods power are focused on crushing the other gods. Or keeping them in check. Its almost a stalemate." said Alex. Ohhh! More chess references. See if you can find the first two!

"Okay." I said. "So no cursing the gods for all eternity then." I said. Annabeth and Thalia were walking towards us. "Have you ever done anything like that?" I asked. "Create stuff out of thin air?"

"Yeah." said Alex. "Those demon dryads. They are the result of my charms on an unsuspecting titansess. Technically they're all supposed to answer to me." Somehow, I always knew Alex would be responsible for a large army of warped devil trees.

So why don't they?" I asked. "Did you give them a bad health plan?"

"Somehow I figure "serve me or die!" doesn't count as a health plan." said Alex opening a can of Coke. Stylishly.

"Hey Seaweed Brain." said Annabeth. Yes! They have given up on making up new nick names for me! "Can we uh, join you?" she cast a look at Alex. It was a different sort of look than she usually gave him. And she's using uh, too!

"Sure." said Alex. "We were discussing the ye olden health plans I gave the dryads."

"Sounds fascinating." said Thalia. "So, we heard you and Percy were talking about when you started making humans."

"You could've asked me that anytime." said Alex, letting his hair fall. I brushed my hair up in stark contrast. No we just need to give each other one of our shoes and wear mismatching shoes. That'll seal our friendship!

"How do you phrase something like that?" asked Thalia. "So, invented any good sentient beings lately?" Unlike sentient beings, some of the anyway, that just wasn't clever.

"What else?" asked Alex, and he looked at Thalia, and the look he gave her was incredible. I saw his eyes but I really didn't want to see them. Ares's eyes were empty sockets with fire, but Alex's eyes were like Dionysus's eyes. They showed bad things. Things that would only appear on a Titanly Guidance 1003 film bad.

"Mr. D told us you were talking about your past." said Annabeth. "We just wanted to know who it is we're supposed to trust." Oh, loved the way she said supposed. It was so….domineering.

Alex sighed. He suddenly seemed older. Really older. "You want to hear my so called story?"

"I would like the know why a smart titan like you." began Annabeth "Would actually be stupid enough to anger Zeus so badly that he puts him in almost perpetual punishment." Ahh. That was probably a pretty huge lapse in judgement.

Alex suddenly raised his head, and now I could see the resemblance between him Hades and Kronos. His face was a picture of controlled rage. He was now also radiating power. I wanted to run and cower, and just stop thinking, my every thought was escaping, just running, running for all I could. And suddenly it just stopped as Alex sighed again. All the campers looked as if they really really wanted to run too but they weren't sitting next to him. Annabeth's face was pale. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't feel ready to move yet. Thalia was breathing heavily. "You really want to know?" he asked.

"Yes." said Annabeth. Good. I really didn't want to sit through that for nothing. Or for this lousy burger. Common, they're doing overkill with the pickles and there's hardly any cheese. The patty is mediocre at best and the bun should have been thrown out about a day ago. It was still usable but lacked that freshness. Wait, where was I?

"It started with the fall of Kronos." began Alex. "He had fallen, and the world was changing. Kronos was the god of the earth, of fertility." He looked at us. "Not like Demeter. Demeter is with plants. Kronos is with all things. Under his guidance all things lived and thrived. All things." said Alex with a smile.

"Are we talking about unpleasant things?" I asked.

"Depends on your point of view." said Alex. "If you were mortal, you're chances of survival were really bad. Oranos, kept the really bad things like the Cyclopes and the Hecatonchires, in Tartuarus. That pissed Gaia off and she got Kronos to kill him. Oranos didn't believe it was safe to have those things running around." said Alex.

"Not all Cyclopes are bloodthirsty." I said. "Some of them are good." True although I hadn't seen Tyson a lot lately, I'm pretty sure he's watching me when I shower.

"But enough of them were to wipe out the old humans." said Alex. "After about a hundred years of fighting and putting the world the way we wanted it, me and Kronos had a conversation. I wanted to bring humanity back, but differently. He said something about me seeing potential in them and that he only sees glorified monkeys." Huh! I'm so not glorified!

" Huh! Percy is so not glorified!" said Annabeth.

"Exactly!" I yelled. Wait, what?

"Anyway." continued Alex. "There was eventually the last great battle before Zeus, and Kronos started to realise the world was changing. He allowed me to start working on humanity. Three hundred thousand years of bad experimentations and drunken adventures." said Alex with a grin. "Good times. Good times."

"Three hundred thousand years?" asked Thalia. "You're that old?" 

"Older actually." said Alex. "Anyway, on with my so called life story. I built a workshop of sorts, which Hephaestus has taken over, for designing man. And woman, but Hekate tried to help me with that and we wound up having demon dryad children. I'm just too charming." said Alex with a shake of his head. "Anyway, using some highly enriched loam-

"Please tell me by highly enriched you mean highly enriched from underground minerals or something." said Annabeth. Oh crap. If he didn't it means we were all made from. I don't even want to narrate it. But I must. But I don't wanna. But I MUST! But I don't WANNA! Fine. I'll be that way. Fine. Me too. The other me which is also I.

"Lets go with the or something." said Alex. "And then, the first generation of humans was born. And everything was going according to plan." He sighed. "And then Zeus and Hades and the rest of the true gods were born. If we just hadn't the others than maybe." Alex sure was sighing a lot. Now, I've only ever narrated the word, so I don't know how to pronounce it, but how do I ask someone how to pronounce something I don't know how to pronounce?

"All the gods were captured, except Zeus who was raised on an island. Until eventually, he came and freed his brothers and sisters. And six gods managed to get away from all the titans. Me, Hyperion and Erebus couldn't believe it. We knew it meant the prophecy of Kronos' downfall, and that the age of the titans was probably over. After three hundred thousand years of nothing I was ready for something new." said Alex. "It wasn't boring, my early life." said Alex. "But the titans, beings with powers that could change the world in ways you can't even imagine, hadn't tried a single new thing. Inventing seemed to beyond them. Or maybe." said Alex. "When you live like gods you don't really see the need for advancement. And I had managed to create a race which could invent, which could strive forward, but they wouldn't, not in a world covered in monsters, ruled by titans. The embodiment of foresight. Same thing as civilization. " said Alex suddenly.

"My best friends, Hyperion and Erebus, both disagreed with my decision. Hyperion had too much honour for that kind of thing, and Erebus said we were going to lose and die. He never was one for many words. Epimetheus was the only one I could convince to join me and a lot of good that did him. He's still married to Pandora. Some people think they're wives are difficult but at least they don't unleash unending horror on humanity whenever they're bored."

"Anyway, as you can geuss, the war continued.And the gods were winning. Hyperion fell to Poseidon and Hades killed Erebus. And then Zeus blasted mount edna to Tartarus and it was over. The monsters were locked up, and controlled. And I fell in love." sai dAlex, and for the seventh time I've known him, he seemed embarresed.

"With who?" aksed Thalia.Oh dammit. For the love of all things holy please, please make it so that Alex doesn't have over a thousand years of bad experiances he needs to get off his chest. The potentiol baggage will wow holiday people everywhere.

"Hera." Said Alex. Ah. No wonder Zeus doesn't like him very much. I always thought it was because Alex once called Zeus a doodyhead.

"You gods should have a show called family time." said Thalia. "In case there are some people left who you haven't permanently emotionally scarred yet."

Annabeth, however looked thoughtful. "You loved Hera? Did you meet in the war or something?"

"Ohhhh! Let me guess!" I said. "You were fighting brilliantly, when suddenly you were wounded and you r enemy was about to kill you and Hera came to your rescue and you both admitted you have intense feelings for each other?" Ah, that story sound perfect, but I'll need flashback style narration to do it perfectly.

"Actually, no." said Alex. "She hated me at first and thought I was the stupidest titan who ever lived and a worthless traitor to my own kind. I didn't really notice her until one moon struck night, with the birds singing and the other stuff running around romantically, I woke up inside her palace cover in cake." Alex shook his head. "Still not sure how it happened."

"And you build a relationship on that?" asked Annabeth. Hey, believe me when I say I've heard worse.

" No, that's when I first noticed her." said Alex. "You really don't listen. That's the first time I looked at her and thought she's hot! Anyway, I was courting Demeter at the time so I didn't think too much about it."

"You dated Demeter?" asked Thalia.

"You use the word courted?" I asked.

"Yes, and yeah, but only for lack of a better word. Gods romance is complicated at best." said Alex. "Now, on with the story. I was ready to make my final draft of humans so to speak, so gathering some more highly enriched loam, I started to redesign everything. And that's when I started to fall in love with Hera. She alone cared. All the other gods had the same view as Kronos. Humans would be interesting, but a mere diversion to them. Hera saw the same potential I saw. Together we perfected the design and were ready to summon them. By then, we were pretty much married or something, but the term wasn't invented yet." said Alex.

"I can't imagine you as married." I said. "Maybe as married but unaware of it, but not like a husband." True. I'm sorry, but I just can't picture Alex in holy matrimony.

"And that's when it all began to fall apart. Everything." he said bitterly. " I had made the first modern humans and they turned and looked at me. They just stared. And then, as one, they bowed."

"And Zeus didn't like that?" asked Annabeth. She too seems to have come to the conclusion that myths about that time are not really gonna help, because who was it that wrote them? Either no one or Hades, and you can't expect him to always be sober while writing.

"Zeus, wanted Hera as his wife. Hestia wasn't his type or something and Demeter didn't want anything to do with him, but Hera he liked. He wanted her. And one night he spoke to me. Ordered me never to give humans the right to fire, or other forms of advancement until they are proved to be loyal. And for about two years, everything was fine. Until me and Hera had a bit of a fall out, the kind that wipes out mountains and other minor things, and Zeus comforted her. And I was jealous." said Alex. "Jealous of Zeus."

Alex looked down, and bitterness etched his face. Or his burger was lousy too. I'm so getting those damn nymphs. "So, I stole fire from the sun. And attacked Zeus head on." Okay, did dot know that fact. In hindsight, if any of you are jealous of a god who rules the whole world, then don't attack him head on. Alex did, and look what happened to him. No, if you're jealous be sure to make constant snide comments behind the gods back.

"You attacked Zeus head on?" asked Annabeth. "Without any back up? Directly? That's...original of you." Yep, that's me and Alex, the original suicidal hero guys. But he's immortal so it's not as risky for him, so you should admire me more.

"Yes." said Alex. "Our fight lasted for three days. At the end, I was at Zeus' mercy, about to be sent into limbo or something. Zeus raised his sword, and it was blocked." said Alex.

"By who?" I asked. Sure, Alex wasn't as good as I was at life story narrating, but for a beginner, he was putting on a pretty fine show. Four stars.

"The first son of Hera and Zeus." said Alex. "Ares." Somehow, the entire Ares' cabin's attention was focused on us now.

"Wait, he saved you?" I asked. "Why?"

"Because, Percy." said Alex. "Ares has a sense of honor. It's somewhat twisted and very bad for you if you're his enemy, but he will never turn on his allies. He doesn't care what happens to his enemies, as in you, but he told Zeus that I fought for him, I shouldn't die because of a lapse of judgment. Zeus let me go, but then ordered a council of the gods and you know the rest. I was chained to be chained to a rock for all eternality. Ares was the only one who voted against the punishment." Alex now looked around at the rest of the campers. "Which explains the rest of the gods attitudes. They think I'm the traitor and that Kronos hasn't returned."

"What?" asked Thalia. "Are you telling me the rest of the gods think you're the traitor?"

"Why shouldn't they?" asked Alex. " The only gods who have claimed Zeus has turned is me, the guy who he chained to a rock for a few thousand years, Hades, who he exiled to the underworld, and Mr.D who he exiled to camp. And Artemis, but Apollo keeps arguing with her about it, so no harm done."

"Well, the you designing humanity thing clears quite a few things up. Like Josh for instance." I said.

"Wait, so the gods don't know the titans are back?" asked Annabeth. Hey, now we all know how Harry feels!

" Something like that. They know the titans are back, but they also know Oranos is with me. And he's the king of the titans. Zeus' has attacked and send three on the minor titans back to Tartuarus already. Kronos planned it all. Me being forced to bring Oranos, the only titan who can be called a god, back, both of us attempting to breach Olympus and Luke stopping us. Luke stopping killing Poseidon and letting the rest of the gods think the traitor has fallen."

" What's the difference between titans and gods?" asked Annabeth suddenly. "It has something to due with when Kronos killed Oranos right?" No! It's a repeat!

"Ah so you are interested? Unlike some people..." he gave me a glare. It wasn't wrapped. " Just curses. Any curse that Oranos placed upon the world, can be forced on a titan. And we're a lot vaguer about...stuff." said Alex. " I started out as the embodiment of foresight or advancement or something. Now I got civilization, fire and ridicule." He drank some more coke. "I'm not even sure about the last one. Like Erebus, he was the ruler of darkness and shadow. Hyperion was the embodiment of Observation. Kronos was fertility and Oranos time and the father of the heaven while Gaia was the mother of the earth."

"So that's why Kronos is worried." I said. "The gods and titans are affected by what people believe. Still, it's weird that the other campers haven't said anything about us being traitors."

"But how?" asked Annabeth, who looked really deep in thought. "How can people affect the titans? Most people don't even believe they exist!" Great. Now Alex will probably have even more issues I'll have to clear up.

" As far as I can tell." said Alex "It's the third ingredient. The first humans were made by making clay sculptures and filling them with my power. Then Zeus would breath on them and zap! Instant human. But the final humans, were created a bit differently. See, the old humans, were all called Joe. Don't ask." he said. "The third were all called Jack and then Jodi, but finally, I had an idea. I added the blood of Oranos to the clay. The same blood that gave life to the giants, gave life to the humans. Of course, the giants took a while to find Olympus, but they were pretty tall. Of course afterwards Hephaestus, Athena and Ares altered humans somewhat."

"Why is none of this stuff in the myths?" asked Thalia.

"There was no one there to write it down." said Alex. "Well, except for the titans and they thought I was wasting my time. And there are some other things you wouldn't know about me. Like for instance, in the hundred years war between France and England, the gods kept having to move between England and France. Annoyed them to know end, man I loved that. Anyway, I, was shockingly enough chained to a rock when a daughter of Ares walked past me. I sucked at French and when I yelled " Please cut my chains! Free me from this torment!" She thought I yelled break your country's chains and free them from this torment. Then she run off and led her country to war or something, leaving me chained to the rock. She was called Joan of Arc or something. Meh."

"So..." I said after the long pause that followed. "You have a plan or anything for our impending doom or are we making it up as we go along?"

" Just one." said Alex. "Destroy Zeus, then the other gods will the light and fight with us, against Kronos."

"Right." I said. "There's absolutely no urges for personal vengeance behind that plan. Dear me, yes."

"The plan will work." said Alex. "We're not going to attack him head on this time."

"But still, considering your track record don't you think you should let us help you a bit?" I asked. "Or at least full us in more instead of confusing us al the time?"

"Percy, in three days Luke's army will attack camp half blood. Me, and the rest of the gods will be unable to help. You must stop them." said Alex, calmly throwing responsibility in my direction.

"Me? But I'm only human." I said with my own grin.

"No you're not." said Alex.

"Well, yeah. So, they're going to attack us from all directions or did does thing we fetched actually give us a means of defense?" I asked.

"Only from half blood hill. The rest will be impenetrable, or at least to difficult to casually cross. Besides, Luke is perfectly okay with the notion of over running you with his vastly more experienced and numerically superior army." Okay, as soon as I figure out what numerically means, I'll start a battle plan. It sounds funny though. Like zany. Hee hee.

" Are we going to have any back up at all?" asked Thalia. "Monsters or magic or anything?"

"The Mayneds won't come." said Annabeth suddenly. "They want to remain neutral." Damn. No one tells me these kind of things.

"There are the Cyclopes of course. But few will come. Some of them remember Oranos with distaste." said Alex. "There is however a problem."

"You have no idea where Oranos is right?" said Thalia. "Or is he outta time?" What is about Oranos that inspires lame time jokes?

Alex grinned. "Oranos is currently trying to secure a new alliance, one that might give us enough power to destroy Zeus. Of course, I doubt they'll stay after that. Kronos fought them once before, they will not won't to face him head on again."

"Who? The giants?" asked Annabeth.

"No. The ones you noticed Luke's forgotten about. The Eastern gods." said Alex, grinning like a mad man. I would describe this as, you could've heard a pin drop, but the fire was still burning too loudly for that. Besides, this silence was so loud you almost couldn't hear over it.

"Eastern gods?" I began. "Like, the Norse gods or something?"

"Nah, the Norse gods were the titans. Oranos was Odin, Kronos was Thor, and I was Loki. Though I am pretty confused about where all the dwarves came from." said Alex, who was looking thoughtful.

"But wasn't Loki tied to a tree for all eternity...oh I get it." said Annabeth. "But most of the things just seem wrong."

"Yeah, fifty thousand years and countless handed tales tend to result in that." said Alex. "No, the Eastern Gods are as ancient as me, Kronos and Oranos are, if not older. See, there were four ages before this one. The first two were chiefly were Oranos and the eastern gods divided the world and looked after their independent halves." Okay. Now this was getting scary. So Luke didn't forget about half the world in his evil plot to take over the world.

"Won't Kronos figure that we'll try something like this?" asked Annabeth. Alas, I laugh at his cunning plans and follow my special mantra of screw logic, follow you impulses!

"Yes." said Alex. " But he knows that they won't stay long if the come to help at all. At least Agni and Soma are guaranteed to come, they'll want in on this. With the two of them we might be able to stage a full scale battle."

"We want to fight our overwhelmingly powerful enemies in a full scale battle why?" asked Thalia.

"Because, then all Kronos and Zeus little plots to confuse everyone will be revealed, and everyone will be able to choose their on sides. And then, at last, the fate of the world may begin to be decided." said Alex. "And we will end this."

"So ah, are the Eastern gods uh good or anything like that?" I asked.

"They got on okay with Oranos and Gaia and probably still do, but I don't really know them. When they divided the world they pretty much made it impossible for us to enter each others territory. Like Zeus and Hades and Poseidon did but on a much larger scale. The only time I really saw them was right after Oranos died. They were angered that we dared kill our dad and demanded that we resurrect him and that Kronos steps down from his throne. So me, Atlas, Erebus Hyperion, Hekate, and Themis went with Kronos to talk with them about." Alex grimaced. "Apparently they disagree with our quaint tradition of killing and usurping our dads. So it was us against them. They didn't bring their full strength though and we won. Twice I was cursed. They thought we lost our right to be called Gods. That they we won the right to be called Titans."

"_A name he wore with honor for a long time." _came a voice in my head. I don't know how, but Alex's very dead brother was talking in my head.

"Did it turn into a fight?" asked Annabeth.

"Pretty much." said Alex. "I don't like talking about it. But the important thing is, they remember Kronos and the straining gods, they won't want them back. They can't help us directly, or at least not for a long time but they'll try to give us a chance." Whoa. Information overload.

"That alliance makes no sense." said Annabeth suddenly.

"Cept that it's perfect." said Alex. Ha! In your face predestined ones!

"No, I mean, how can they get into western civilization? You said they split the world or something?" said Annabeth. Crap. That blows my plan to hide in a basement in Japan to hell.

"Oranos is planning something." said Alex. " He and Dyaus made that rule, they should know how to break it."

"One other thing." said Annabeth. "If they don't like titans, then what will they do about you?" Hey now! That's uncalled for!

Now Alex's grin was failing again. "That is one thing that bother me. Does one act, define what you are for ever?" he asked, and he didn't wait for us to answer. " No and that's why." he took a knife and slashed across his wrist. "This is happening." The thin trail of blood dripped calmly of his arm ruining the lousy burger.

"The edges are gold." I said suddenly. "And for some reason they seem even golder the longer you look at them..." Hmm. I wonder how many carrots, nah, I won't bleed my friend dry.

"I'm turning into some sort of god." said Alex. "Or something like that. Rules are bending and curses are breaking. And mortals are remembering me more than ever. They are begging to question everything, like I hoped they would. They are advancing faster than ever. They have formed a band called Alexisonfire."

"Is that an emo band?" asked Thalia, glancing at Alex wrist.

"Something like that." Said Alex, and in a flash of fire the wound had turned to a black scar. "Right. Now as fun as you might have found my little story, I suggest you go to sleep. Tomorrow is you last day of training before you're all doomed."

" Your morale rising abilities is not strong." I said. Or would that be are?

"Percy, what's Josh doing with that monster ?" asked Annabeth, and indeed my friend Josh was standing incredibly close to a very angry looking dragon. Oh, this won't end well. Or quite possibly, without an M rating.

"I shall taunt you into submission foul beast!" yelled Josh, brandishing a sword in the way you see in the movies. Like you have no idea how to hold it except to look cool, and can't wait for the stunt double to take over.

"Oh yeah, well I eat kids like you for breakfast." Said the dragon, smoke trailing out of his nostrils. Man, he does not look very pleasant.

"Ha! That was an old taunt whereas mine are stunningly original." yelled Josh with pride as if he just seen an incredibly large hole in his enemies armor.

"Uh, josh, that wasn't a taunt. He's a monster. He really does eat kids like you for breakfast." I said.

"Huh. No wonder the amount of dashingly good looking lads have drastically decreased." Said Josh, who looked kind of thoughtful.

"Can I eat him now?" asked the dragon.

"Shouldn't you ask me that?" asked Josh.

"I eat you. Okay?" he asked, and opened his mouth. Man, I'd hat to be Josh right no. Forget fire bad breath is the really bad part of a dragon's arsenal. Or so I've been told.

"Back off dragon." said Thalia irritably. "Why are you here Josh?" she asked. Of him. Weirdly enough.

" I heard you were all doomed. So I made a brave decision Ancient and unique portrait fight!" he brandished a portrait and made to hit someone with it when an invincible force seemed to grip him.

" That's thing the thing I'll never understand about heroes. You fight and die for this?" asked Alex. Me and Annabeth Jumped up and wrenched the portrait out of Josh's hands before he could seriously hurt himself. Alex stood.

"You should go to sleep now. Oranos will be back tomorrow and I think we'll all want to be ready for that.

I shrugged.. Or something. I was kinda wondering about the voice in my head. He said he wouldn't be able to leave the ship. Or something. " "Fine." I said and walked off, trying to digest what I was just told. And that damn lousy burger. Damn you nymphs to Tartuarus where they will hopefully learn culinary skills that are better! I stared numbly at the walls around my cabin and fell asleep without taking my clothes of, to large scale disappointment.

Oh no! Dream scene! There's probably a god of dreams or something, because I always get these weird dreams that allow me to see things. And not the usual dreams. Oh crap, I'm being pulled in...

I was looking over a rock, a tall mountain until I realized it was an open rock face. Or something. It was hard to describe. There stood someone in the middle, and I could somehow feel rather than see who it was. Kronos. He was standing there, looking perfectly calm, in white robes. He held a scythe loosely in his left hand. He also seemed to be waiting for something. Three more people appeared. On was a beautiful pale woman with greenish hair and green robes, who stood directly behind Kronos. The other woman had dark brown hair and wore a pale blue dress thing. She reminded a bit of Artemis. And the guy in the middle. Now he looked tough. Really. Imagine the bulked up ness of Ares mixed with the feeling of power you get from Hades, and you'll begin to understand.

"You're late Prometheus. And you too, Hyperion and Erebus." said Kronos, without turning around, as three more titans arrived. The guy who I guess was called Erebus looked a lot like Hades and held two long knives while the other guy was really muscular with light brown hair. He carried a long bow and had a sling filled with arrows with him. As for the other guy, if Kronos hadn't called him Prometheus, I wouldn't have regoniased him. He was tall and muscular and wore a skirt. He had flowing blond hair. The eyes were the only things that looked anything like the Alex I knew.

"You think they'll come then?" asked the green haired woman.

"Yes, Themis." said Kronos. "They will. But they will not, I suspect, be quite prepared for us." Okay. Ye olden talking.

"You think it's wise, my lord, to pick a fight with them?" asked Prometheus, who now stood in line with the rest of the titans behind Kronos.

"It's not wise." said Kronos. "However, it is unavoidable. I am however surprised you managed to make it through the barrier." His tone was laced with suspicion, and I was falling victim to ye olden talking style. Ye olde school mode or Help! Please!

"The barriers were meant to block gods." said Prometheus. "Not ones such as we." Oh dear Hermes, will someone please go back in time and help with this dialogue!

"Perhaps." said Kronos. "Are you all ready to fight in case this gets out of hand?"

"Yes Kronos." said the tough looking guy. "The titans are ready. We should just hope the ground is too."

A slight frown crossed Kronos' face, but it disappeared as soon as it came. "They come now." Suddenly the vision of the dream changed and I could see five figures landing in front of the titans.

"Ahh, Dyaus." said Kronos. "So good of you to come. Why did you wish to speak with us?"

"I think that can be answered safely by the fact that you chose to arrive armed." said Dyaus, eyeing Kronos with distaste.

"Merely a tradition of honor." said Kronos. "We take great care over such things. Now, what is this misunderstanding you need to clear up?"

"I'll show you the misunderstanding!" yelled one of them, who looked a lot tougher than the rest. He seemed to tremble with rage and lifted a heavily studded mace.

"Peace Varuna." said Dyaus. "I hope you'll excuse him. He has being greatly troubled with the lose of Oranos. As were we all."

"Of course. It was a worrying incident to all of us. I haven't introduced my merry band here have?" Asked Kronos, with a half smile. "My personal general, Lord Atlas, the Ladies Themis and Hekate and of course, Hyperion, Erebus and Prometheus." He gestured at each of the titans in turn. "And your charming attendants would be?"

"Soma, Agni and Vayu ." siad Dyaus. "And you've almost been impaled by Varuna so I think his introductions are unnecessary."

"A pleasure." said Kronos. "Well, now we all know each other, shall we just go on our merry ways?"

Dyaus glared. "The entire world has gone cold since he died, and you still presume to mock everything. You dared to kill him!" he said. "And take his throne. That in itself is unforgivable, un-

"We dared because we care." said Kronos, grinning at Dyaus. "Oranos was torturing some of his own offspring, denying them the light of day, just because they were a bit dangerous. He was cursing the world, stifling us all. He was effectively destroying us all. I think that you should be thanking us, not misplacing blame."

"Boy." said Dyaus, and I'm sorry to say this, but I was really impressed by the way Kronos managed to not run away like a lama after the look Dyaus gave him. "I knew Oranos for longer than you could possible imagine. He had his faults, but he only sought to protect, not to destroy. You are not worthy to be his successor, titan." He spat out the word, like it was filthy thing, and several of the titans now looked angry though all looked a bit scared.

"Alas, we differ of opinion there." said Kronos. "Now, this was a fascinating conversation, you gave me a lot to think about, shall we talk again in another few millennia?'

"No." said Dyaus. "You shall stand down, and bring Oranos back from the darkness."

"Ah. I'm quite afraid that's not happening." said Kronos, raising his scythe. By some invisible order, all the other gods drew their weapons too.

"You will revert to violence?" asked Dyaus. "Very well, as it seems to be the only way you know." he drew his own axe, and the rest of warriors drew their own weapons.

Suddenly Atlas roared, and the fight began. I didn't really see most of it. Mostly I tried to see what Alex was doing. He seemed to be fighting with Vayu and was losing, until Hyperion shot some arrows at him. The air started to churn and the arrows snapped in half, mid flight. Erebus suddenly appeared out of a shadow, and held both knives to Vayu's chest. Golden blood started to trickle, but before he could really do anything Agni appeared with a flaming sword and knocked Erebus off. Alex was grinning now and his own sword shot alight too. Agni turned to stare before grin started to slowly form on his face too.

"In another world we could've been brothers!" yelled Agni as his sword connected with Alex and flames shot everywhere.

Alex grin and they started to fight with relentless speed, fire blazing everywhere. Erebus was still fighting Vayu, and Hyperion seemed to be shooting at everyone. Atlas and Varuna were fighting harder than I would have believed, both pulsing sheer strength, the rocks smashing beneath them. Themis and Hekate were fighting Dyaus who fought back like a snake. He kept disappearing and hitting other titans, giving the gods the advantage. Kronos was fighting differently, and I don't think either of us were sure what he was fighting. Soma, was hard to see, and Kronos was probably concentrating on where Soma was likely to appear next, never mind killing him. The gods were winning. Alex's fighting was heating up, literally, and the rocks were melting around him and Agni. Varuna seemed to be using water in his fight against Atlas, who was looking angrier and angrier. Themis and Hekate just couldn't seem to stop Dyaus. A betting man would probably have gone with the eastern gods. And that's when it happened. Kronos scythe suddenly connected with Soma, leaving a huge gash across her face. He slashed twice more and she was down. The gods howled with rage but that wasn't going to help them. Kronos then started fighting Vayu, who couldn't keep up with both him and Erebus at the same time and began to lose. He fell and Erebus ran to help Alex, while Kronos and Hyperion walked over to Varuna. And then, all Dyaus broke loose.

Literally. He let out a roar of rage, and power echoed through the rock face, and cracks form everywhere. Themis and Hekate, who were closest to him fell first. The rest of them gods and titans alike, fell. I couldn't really see, but I managed to make out Dyaus' grinning.

"Oh well done." said Kronos and his smile froze. Alex also stood up and punched Agni, causing him to slump to the ground. Hyperion and Erebus, who appeared to have hidden behind the now unconscious Atlas, walked over to the middle of the crater, where Dyaus was standing, surrounded by Titans.

"You will leave." said Kronos. "As long as I rule this land, you shall never be allowed to return here." He turned and made to leave, when Dyaus spoke.

"I will not need to interfere." said Dyaus. "For, I now curse you, along with your father, and you shall be murdered and succeeded by your own son, just like you did to your father. I curse you Kronos, unworthy son of Oranos. And you shall now truly strain." He raised his hands, and in a flash of blue light, he and the other gods left.

Prometheus, or Alex, but I didn't think of this guy as him, looked at Kronos. "They'll be back my lord." said Prometheus. "I know it."

"Of that I have no doubt. No doubt at all." said Kronos, and his features seemed to darken, and I woke up.

**Author Notes: I apologies for the delay in updating, but Homework and other things kept me from writing a lot. Well that's a lie actually. This is my new longest chapter and I don't think I'll manage one like this again. Thanks for the rewievs.**


	13. I taunt the elder god

**I taunt the elder god**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain. Also contains some snippets from Eragon.**

Well, yesterday I learned that my master plan of hiding in a Japanese basement, is doomed to fail. I'm not sure about my other plan to ride a small wooden block to California is going to work either. For alas, camp half blood itself shall now feel the wrath of the Luke's army, and stuff. I can't remember everything that was said yesterday. And for some reason I keep wondering why it wouldn't rain in a junk yard. Meh. Anyway, back to my life!

Well that was….odd probably. Alex has gotten into fights which the entire world has been designed to stop him from doing. Or something. I lazily got a shirt and a partially fresh pair of jeans.

I walked down to the lake. This was wrong. Everything was going wrong. Here we are, trapped in some damn war cause by a prophecy! Why the fucking hell should I follow it? Prophecies are the things that got us in this damn mess! Oh sure, maybe there was always something uncaring or unpleasant about Zeus, but if he didn't think he was going to be perpetually tortured if he didn't he might have tried to stop Kronos, instead of joining him! And now, now because of some words, I have to fucking decide who loses or wins. And maybe not even that. Maybe I'll just make some stupid mistake which will doom the gods, if they can be called that.

"My Percy, but you look angry today." said Oranos, walking past me. " Are you in the first stage of denial?"

"I think I'm in the first stage of anger" I said.

"Which is?" asked Oranos .

"Also anger." I said.

"Well, good day to you anyhow." said Oranos. "If you'll excuse me, I have to find Prometheus." Okay. Now formalities are beginning. Which should logically narrating, puzzle me. What should I call Alex in formal company? Will me or Alex ever find formal company? And wouldn't they chase us away? And if they do, will we get hurt during said chasing? Will me and Alex be forced to crash in Josh's house until the heat's off and live of cereal and fanta?

"Oranos, I have a little question for you." I said, giving a thin, but fully beautiful smile. "About these Eastern Gods you two have neglected to mention."

Oranos smiled. "Neglected, Percy? I am sorry but most of the gods prefer to pretend they don't exist. In fact, this a desperate attempt to get help, which probably won't work. They are strong, certainly, as strong as most of us if not stronger, but this is our war. We can't expect them to fight for us." said Oranos. "We can only expect us to fight for us."

"Right." I said sarcastically. "So, any more things I don't know about?"

" Hundreds." said Oranos. "I could spend your entire life telling you about half of them, and you still wouldn't have time to comprehend it. The world is far more complicated than anything else in the world. Far more." Fuck. This is like circular reasoning, without the circular reasoning.

"Right. And all these so called rules you installed into the world?" I asked.

"I installed?" asked Oranos. "Look boy, creating a world, well, me and Gaia did it with a little luck and a lot of help. But the thing is, after you create a world, you can't really control what happens. The rules, as they are, wrote themselves. And don't worry if you're confused. That was my unique way of saying I have no idea what happened. I provided the power and the essence of movement, time. Gaia did the whole planet thing. " Oranos nodded.

"You created a planet and didn't bother to actually try and figure out how it works?" I asked., incredulously. That begs a question. If I could get incredulous, could I get outcredulous? "You just went with the flow?"

"Yeah." said Oranos, looking smug, "Bet you wouldn't have thought of that, huh?"

" And then you and Gaia went and started the inbreeding trend. Something I really wouldn't have thought of." I said. "No wonder Kronos has family issues."

"Oh come on Percy." said Oranos, rolling his damn eyes. "We screwed up, but reminiscing isn't gonna help."

"Right. I'm calm." I said, lying through my teeth. "I'm calm. I'm not focusing on your stupidity I'm focussing on Luke and his army of impending doom. Yeah. Seriously do you drink stupid juice with your coffee in the morning?" I yelled.

"Hey! Is this some kind of joke about me being lactose intolerant?" asked Oranos.

"And you left out the coffee today?" I asked dejectedly.

"I know what'll cheer you up!" said Oranos. "I bought a daft punk cd!"

"Dear god….."

"It was on a special offer!" continued Oranos.

"Quit messing with his head." said Alex, walking calmly into the scene. "Are the defences ready?" Oranos nodded. "Did you get the help?" If it isn't the one with harder,better,faster, stronger on it I'm going to unkill that annoying titan bastard.

"Yeah." said Oranos. "They don't like us much but they really hate Kronos so I think we may get some back up later." Note, they probably love me, and Annabeth and co. but with Oranos sparkling personality, is it any wonder they treat him like the undeserving scum he is?

" So, Percy, have you started to organise a powerful and mighty defence yet?" asked Alex. "Or a defence even?"

" We're out numbered, over powered, and due to Luke's impeccable use of moisturiser, they have better hair than us." I said. "How to you defend yourself against that?" Unless it was humid, in which case he would have to repeat with the moisturiser, which would be terrible.

" Don't be so negative." said Alex. "My hair looks great." Wow. Awkward. We all started looking anywhere but each other.

"Not that your hair looks bad…." began Oranos.

"Dammit I hate you both." I said. "You're at least a couple of hundred thousand years older than me and three times as childish." I said, and considered what I just said. "I should admire you."

" Damn straight you should." said Alex. He looked over as a satyr blew a horn. "Ah. Oh yes, Mr D has stated that we should now go have a meeting outside the Big House to decide who gets the privilege of leading you.

Great. Oh well, at least I can argue before this happens. I started walking to the Big House, and took a little look around. Everyone was armoured. And no one was looking like they wanted to practise. Guess they don't want to tire themselves out. Which is a pretty good idea when your enemy moves faster than you can see. First we have a week, now we have a day. Oddly, when I eat steak pies I get nauseas. They're just too rich for me. Ah, here we are. And there is Thalia and Annabeth, both fully armoured and glaring at me.

"Where's your armour?" hissed Thalia. "They can attack any minute now!" See what I mean?

"I'll put it on after this meeting thing." I said. And now, ah. Mr D is indeed going to make a speech. Mr D's unique way of speech making, was the of the kind that not only convinces you things could get worse, it would tell you how they would get worse why the will get worse and why it is Peter Johnson's fault. He also never uses the word "if" which might scare the unready.

" Hello campers!" said Mr D, standing and looking down at us all. " I see you are all kitted out and ready for war, except for Peter Johnson which will undoubtly lead to all of us getting ripped to shreds by an angry army of monsters." Wow. That pretty much covers all points.

" Who's Peter Johnson?" asked Josh. Hey! He's wearing my armour!

"You know…." said Mr D gesturing vaguely. "Peter Johnson. Black haired kid. That weird son of Poseidon. The guy who made dooming us a weekly habit." An inexperienced listener may fall under the illusion that Mr D doesn't like this Peter Johnson much. It must suck to be him.

" Oh, I get it! You mean Percy, and you're misprinting his name in order to show your complete and utter disrespect for him!" said Josh. Boy Howdy, I'm glad he cleared that up.

" Misprinting?" asked Mr D. " Are you one of the Ares campers?"

"Hey!" Said Clarrise. " That …thing could be out thought be a dead cat! On crack! He doesn't even know how to hold a sword and he's wearing his armour backwards! That's not even supposed to be possible!"

"So how does that make him different from any other child of Ares?" asked Annabeth. Zing!

Clarrise sneered at Annabeth. "Save your little taunts for when your boyfriend comes to try and kill us all." oh! Tension is running high! Wait a minute….I'm not going to kill anyone!

Annabeth glared at her and was about to retort when another Athena cabin member did. "Be quite you idiotic waste of skin! We can't start fighting amongst ourselves now!" Hmm. Way to do the peace talks.

"At least we can fight!" said someone from the Ares cabin. "We won't be lying in snivelling bloody heaps after we get attacked by a single bloody monster!"

"Oh yeah! Well, you suck!" yelled someone quite uncreative.

"There's nothing sexier than this." said Josh, moving his hand up and down in front of his face while twirling his fingers. Oh, there's a blow to anyone who thought creative would be better.

"Princesses!" yelled someone.

"Muscle bound morons!"

" Pigeon lovers!"

"Stinky hats!"

"Nothing at all." said Josh, who seemed fascinated by his own hands now.

"Geeks!" yelled someone else.

"Wussies!" yelled someone else.

" Labellers of people!" yelled someone, who I'm pretty sure was Thalia. Though I can't really see. it does seem that tempers are running a tad high.

"Interestingly, this is exactly the effect I hoped for." said Mr .D. "This is leadership." Well, when you really think about it, yeah. Yeah it is. If you want an example, look at your school's prefects.

"Josh, give me my armour." I said.

"Fine. I just wanted to look the part." he said, giving me one of his grins.

"Wait, how did you get in here anyway?" asked Mr D, looking at Josh, as if he only just saw him. Or it might just be normal shock. Josh has that effect on people.

"I'm the guy who fixes the training dummies." said Josh, without the slightest hint of a blush. Well, not really, he had a bit of a red tinge on his left cheek, but was probably just sunburn.

"Fair enough." said Mr D. "Now, SHUT UP!" he yelled. Everyone pretty much did that while I took off my armour. Off Josh. And unto me.

"We need to elect a brave hero to lead our defence against the evil armies of the fell warrior Luke and the titan lord Kronos. Someone with skill and courage and charisma. Someone with leadership experience. We need a hero." said Mr D. "Unfortunately we can't hope for a smart hero because if there was a smart hero he or she would've already left. So….any volunteers?"

" Thalia!" yelled someone from the crowd.

"Percy!" yelled someone else.

"Clarisse!" yelled someone with a really deep voice.

"Okay, will you three step forward." said Mr D. "Anyone else?"

"Annabeth!" yelled someone else. Wait, shouldn't Chiron or someone lead us? This isn't exactly practise….but I think the time for practise is pretty much over.

"Okay, now, I will say this." said Mr D. "We have Thalia, daughter of Zeus, who is good at leading and a good fighter, and Clarisse, a brilliant fighter and tactician who can definitely hold any line, and Annabeth, a skilled warrior who is better at planning than your average carpenter. And then, we have Peter. Peter Johnson. Now, I don't mean to be rude, but I would be more comfortable if the afore mentioned crack riddled dead cat leads us than if Percy leads us, because a dead cut cannot accidentally kill off half it's own army and trip and fall on it's own sword." Mr D. grinned. "Now turn around kiddies. We can't let you see who voted for you."

"This is almost like the time they tried to get me to be cheerleader." said Thalia, eyes flashing slightly.

"Hot dog!' I said "I've just realised I'm the only guy here!" I said, aloud accidentally. "Now the odds are finally in my favour….."

"They made you a cheerleader?" asked Annabeth, confused.

"The key word was tried." said Thalia. "Turns out the schools sports fields were more inflammable than the inspectors guessed."

"Right." I said, beginning to twirl my own hands. "Josh's movements, while undoubtly attractive to some, were too spastic, instead of the proper expansive movements which should give movement to words……" I moved my hand slowly, grinning at the splendour I had created. "Yeah……."

"How did they now it was inflammable?" asked Annabeth.

"Because I torched it with lightning." said Thalia.

" Hmmm. I notice when me and Josh attempt to woo girls this way the either ran away, or call us weird and run away. What are your thoughts on this Clarisse?" I asked.

"That if you get chosen as our leader I'm going to kill myself to save time." said Clarisse. Man, this emo thing is getting out of hand.

"Well, I have good news and bad news." said Mr D. "Which do you want to hear first?"

"Good news." said Annabeth. Ah. Good idea.

"Well, it appears the academic community will in no way be affected if you lose this battle." said Mr D. "Because they seem to have voted for Peter." Damn. I'm not sure what Josh flaws in his technique are, since mine are hauntingly similar. Twirl, forish, what doesn't he do?

"Wait, what?" asked Thalia.

"Oh yeah." I said. "Josh gets those two mixed up some times." Now, flourish, then twirl. Yes, yes.

" Come on Percy did alright when we did that whole capture the flag thing. You did okay." said Annabeth. Funnily enough, I remember nothing.

"Let's just get over with." said Clarisse. We're outnumbered, outmonstered and outeverything. I don't think a good leader is going to make a difference."

"Mm. I have considered this eventuality, and I did think we need four groups. We only need to defend a small passage, so we keep one group at the front and keep switching whenever people get too tried or too dead." I said. "I need you guys to lead the other three groups. "I didn't come here to stir up trouble. I came to ask for help. I'm strong ,yes, and so is Saphiay But I cannot protect everyone. We cannot be everywhere. You are quite right Annabeth, you have done well with Du Vran whatever but I, as Spiderman must establish a firm chain of command which we can um…pull and hit Luke with." Yeah. Now that, is leadership.

" Percy, did you steal your speech from that Eragon book?" asked Annabeth.

" I can only ask that you look into your hearts." I said, changing tack. "And realise how awesome I am." Ok this isn't working. Time for honesty. "Okay guys, this can go one of two ways, we win, or we lose." I paused for breath and inspiration. " This camp is our, if we lose here, okay, I'll put it simply. I don't want to lose, and I'm going to do everything I can to not lose. And you can either help, or not. You can walk away if you want to. I don't like it much either but Mr. D is right. We're probably going to die if we stay here."

I looked at them. None of them looked like they wanted to run. I sighed. I really didn't know what to say next. Maybe I would've sparkled brilliantly if Mr.D didn't look at me and give a half hearted sneer. "They're coming." he said, and left for the big house.

"Clarisse, ready the warriors." I said. "Thalia, check if any reinforcements or anything else has arrived. Annabeth, "I paused, caught between friendship and doing what was right. "Lock Josh up in my cabin and my sure he can't get anything sharp." I drew Riptide while they did as I bade them. Damn I'm awesome.

"I started walking towards the borders of the camp. The small stretch we had to defend, was well, undefended. I stood there, and almost lost control of bladderal functions. No, that isn't a word but dammit I'm going to continue using my high class speech.

In short, Luke's army was fucking large. Alex, like usual, appeared right behind me.

"Not pleasant huh." said Alex with a grin. "That Luke sure knows how to muster an army. He's obviously in the Sauron school of evil villainy. Lots of weak creatures to make things look scary, and a bunch of evil elite monsters."

"Yeah." I said. "Know how many guys I got?" I asked.

"Yep." said Alex. "39. A bunch of older hero's came here to help defend the place. "

"39?" I asked, panicy. "That's not even a round number!" I said. "No Greek myths have legends about the stand of the 39 hero's!"

"At least it's better than 42." said Alex.

I paused. "Yeah. Yeah it is." I said. Now would be a good time to say the other army was really close, but so were my thirty nine warriors, who were right behind me. I couldn't see Luke yet, but two other figure had emerged from the mess.

"Percy, the gods and titans can't fight here." said Alex. He sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I have some old friends to deal with." I never saw Alex look so haunted, so sad. His past, which he never ran from because of that damn rock, was catching up to him. He took a flying leap, away from the camp. The two figures landed there. Hyperion and Erebus. There was a mixture of shouting and pointing, and then, Alex drew his sword. They drew there knives and bows. Alex started fighting an on off battle with Erebus but was losing because Hyperion was really,really accurate and kept shooting at him. I thought Alex was about to loose, until another arrow flew past Hyperion's face. Artemis had joined the battle.

I turned to look at the army that was by now way to close to camp half blood. I looked at the small force behind me and found Annabeth's face. She gave me a small nod and smile. I turned around, filled with a little sense of porpoise, and a big sense of fear.

"Tonight!" I yelled. "We dine in Tartuarus!" I paused, wondered what the hell a porpoise was and lost my train of thought. "Tomorrow, I'm thinking McDonalds!"

**Author Notes: Sorry about the long delay in updating, but I've started writing me exams and didn't really have a lot of time on my hands. Good thing because it stains. Anyway, this chapter was entirely written between different tests, which should explain why some parts are so different. Anyway, next chapter will feature a bit more of Alex's back story, the first two Eastern gods and Josh's deep rooted fear of tooth paste.**** Updating will return to normal , at best, 11 November.**


	14. Way of the physco path

**Way of the physco path**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain**

You know, you'd think it's stupid that evil people always sacrifice their large armies of weak guys, who fall like flies before the good guys. But really, they probably want them to die. See, those guys outnumber us, and pretty much kills off the good guys morale and tires them, without losing anything the evil guys mind losing. Cause really, all evil guys have this vision of the perfect world they want to create, and it rarely, if ever, includes a lot of stupid and easily killable morons who helped them rise to power. Man, I hate going up against that kind of thing. Back to my life!

Luke's army moved forward. I'd like to say they moved with discipline, and we stood firm and held against their onslaught. In reality, they charged us like maniacs, the first wave falling to the Apollions arrows and the second waves literally climbing over the first waves bodies to get to us. And then it started. "Hold the line!" I yelled. A hellhound jumped at me, and I was pushed backwards into the dirt. Damn. Not the heroic start I really wanted.

I swung my sword at it's move when I noticed that a spear was right through the things head. "Get a move on Prissy!" yelled Clarrisse. "They're not stopping!" I'll so dis her back later, but now, now it's time to do what I do best. In public. I jumped up and slashed the head off a lizard guy with Riptide, and, still spinning, hit the sword of one of Luke's half bloods.

"So you're leading this rabble!" he yelled, catching someone's spear with his sword and kicking that guy away.

I swung Timothy, and he let it lengthen in my arm, using the increasing weight to let it swing hard, leaving a massive gash in the bronze monster side and cutting of the head of another lizard guy before I returned it to it's normal length. A hellhound, who really should've been paying more attention woke up dead to find Riptide in it's side. "I could say the same thing. Have you heard of a thing called tactics?"

He grinned like a maniac. Which he probably was, the bastard. He had dark hair like mine, but he also had freckles and a weird weaselish face. I so wanted to punch him.

"Your outnumbered, out positioned and out of luck. Is that what you mean?"

Dammit I hate him. I noticed there was almost a sort of circle forming around us, and most of the monsters and co were anxious to get away from this guy. This didn't bother me, since my guys now had less ground to defend. I got just about make out Thalia surrounded by the non regenerating monster parts out of the corner of my eye. They seemed to be attacking the other side now.

"Now, I mean actually teaching your guys to fight. At this rate all we'll have to worry about is cramps." I said, changing my footing slightly.

"Ah, Luke told me you were supposedly witty. He seems to be stretching the meaning of supposedly." he said grinning. He suddenly turned and ripped a lizard man's sword out of his hand and threw it at me. I hit it out of the air with ease. Swords weren't made for throwing. And the unfortunate lizard guy, who was now standing right in front of me without a sword, found out what they're best for quiet fast.

" So, this is your plan?" I asked. "Wear us out, or demoralize us with your large army?" I looked to my side as Clarisse suddenly electrocuted four weird cow things with her spear. "Our torturing us with your presence? Because that's working at least." I shrugged. "You won't take camp half blood this way." 

"Of course not." he said. "This is not the attack force to destroy camp half blood, this is force to capture you and Thalia. We need you alive remember. Ah, I see we have her, and now just you are needed." I looked to my side in shock as I saw three guy holding Thalia. The seemed to be wrapping some chains around her. And suddenly, a bronze knife sprounted through one, a sword cut the other one and the third started running.

"Gotta love baseball caps." I said, turning to notice the weird guy was standing right in front of me and his sword was swinging at my neck. I duck and rolled. This was going to get messy.

" I see you think you know what you're doing!" yelled the guy, hitting my sword and dancing around slashing and flailing at me with his sword. Huh.

" And I can see you're an inbred moron." I said, pushing him back. "Isn't that a hoot?"

"No, I think it's killer!" yelled the guy and slashed faster than a rocket powered turbo slug. And that's pretty damn fast. He missed my neck by centimeters. 2.3 cm to be exact

"Your swordsmanship is good but your repartee is weak!" I yelled, slashing back. "I have you now!" It might be a good time to note that this was quite possibly the seventh most difficult fight I've ever been in. And when your list contains monsters and Immortals, well, seventh is quite hard to get.

He started laughing. I think I'll call him Fredrick. "Die." he said simply, and pulled two throwing knives out of his pockets. He threw them, with considerable accuracy. I ran out of the way, in with considerable uh, dexterity. One still grazed my leg though. And with the blood came rage. I jumped straight at him, and slashed right through his sword. And with my free hand punched him so hard that he flew back three meters.

"I'm going to kill you and your face!" I yelled.

"Really? Most manage just one." he said, unarmed, surrounded by monsters and a lot of other people who want him dead. He calmly walked over to a fallen lizard guy and picked up his sword. I was one him again. The other sword, well, I was lucky there. This one, I could've shattered with a toffee hammer. Really, these giant armies don't go in for quality control. And yet, he was still laughing. I really didn't like this. He drew out a long knife. And we started again. Really, I don't know how to describe what followed. Think...the sword fight equivalent of thrash metal. That fast. Or the time it takes for a cat to reverse gravity and rule the world. That fast.

And it went on for only five minutes. Still, I really didn't have time to count. The fight was going insane, and the half bloods behind me were being pushed further and farther back. Wack. They actually are both words. I blocked his knife and swung my sword at him. he just stepped back. And further back. Though not farther back. And laughed. "Look around you Percy!" I yelled. "Give up now, and you won't see us kill your friends!" Okay, that was one of the weirder and more honest negotiate lines.

"What about no, you freaky bastard!" I yelled.

" Very well." he grinned. "If you want to see it..." He kicked a sword up into his hands and threw it, straight through one of the Apollo guys. I was about to attack him, when a flaming arrow flew right past him. And a dryad, huge, muscled and on fire jumped across, two blades in his hands. He effortlessly killed two monster and four more dryads joined him, one engaging in one on one combat with the weird guy. A tall one, whose horns were painted blue tapped me on the shoulder.

"Greeting Perseus." he hissed. "Lord Prometheus asks that you and your people retreat while we cover for you. This battle, is lost. You should not be lost too."

I looked at the huge muscled demon thing in front of me. "You think you can keep them back?" I asked.

"Easily." he grinned. "Now go!"

"Okay!' I yelled. "Retreat! To wherever you feel safe that is not camp half blood!"

"That leaves what exactly?" asked one kid, staring disbelievingly at me.

"We lost okay!" I yelled. "And we're not going to die! So run!" I thought for a moment. "Try Disney land."

"And if they start chasing?" asked a girl.

"Then you run faster!" I said. "Now go! Go!" The thing about tactical retreats is this, they require planning. For some reason, we didn't even think that we were going to have to run. There was complete and utter chaos. People were looking for there friends, sometimes just to see them bleeding on the floor. Others were just running. As time past, more switched to that. Just running.

"Jackson! What do you think you're doing!?" yelled Clarisse. "We could've held them back!" 

I didn't know what to say back. I just stared as a dryad went down with a knife in his chest. Man, that guy was fast. "Are you crazy?" yelled Thalia, looking exhausted, with sweat pouring off her. "We would be dead!"

"Then leave!" she yelled. "You can! I'm not going to!" She took something silver out of her jacket. And then she run back into the battle, killing several of the monsters.

"Time to go." I said, turning around.

Annabeth was standing there, staring at camp half blood. I know she wouldn't want to leave it either. "Shit!" I yelled. " Josh is still locked in my cabin!" I ran to my cabin, and flung open the door, Thalia and Annabeth behind me.

Josh was huddled in a corner, rocking forwards and backwards. "Oh, I left the toothpsaste out again?" I asked.

"Yeah." said Josh. "Yeah you did."

"Well come on!" I said, grabbing him. "We are leaving!" 

"To where?" asked Annabeth softly. "This is the only place we've ever, ever really been safe. To where do you want to go?"

"I'm easy as long as there are no invading armies outside." said Thalia. Ha ha ha ha, aren't we all.

"Good. I have a plan." I said.

" We're doomed." said Annabeth.

"No it's a good plan." I said. "We can hide in Hephsteus's forge."

"Hide in the forge of one of the gods who wants to kill us?" asked Thalia. "Just by listening to it, I can tell it's your plan." Ha ha ha, dear me yes, we are witty today. Note how we engage in witticisms. Wow. Once again, I'm shocked that that actually is an word. An word? What the hell is wrong with grammar?

" Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but these invading armies, would they be the reason I'm seeing explosions all around the camp?" asked Josh. Hmm. In my previous monologue I appeared to use that twice. In my next one I should probably start beat boxing.

" Yeah, I can see the connection." I said. "Now, lets run!"

"But the camp..." began Annabeth.

"You know, if we're going to regret abandoning camp half blood, I'd prefer that we were alive while we do that." I said. Um, cha cha um nam na ema, um cha cha um, nam name ma, here we go! um nam na ema, Right now! Um nam na ema! Go!

"I hate him but he has a point." said Josh.

" You hate Percy?" said Thalia.

"No." said Josh. "We're friends."

"Then why did you."

"Um' guys, stop flirting we have some impending doom to deal with." I said, and started walking. "That way!" I pointed, and we started running.

"To what are we running?" asked Annabeth.

"The griffins!" I yelled, pointing.

"How do you know they're friendly?" asked Thalia.

"Well ,someone did spray paint "Alex was here" on their sides." Mused Annabeth. Huh. I love Muse.

" Hmm, you're right, this looks legit." I said. Too right it did. I'll now because I've seen many legal forms of griffin transport before.

"So these mythical creatures I can't see, I'm supposed to ride one of them to safety?" asked Josh.

"No, you're supposed to ride it to Hephsteus's forge." I said.

"Seriously Percy, why?" asked Annabeth. "There is literally no reason to go there."

"Except that in the forge is the remains of Alex's labs. " I said.

**Author Notes: I'd like to apologias for the really long delay, but I had a whole bunch of issues that I had to deal with in real life, and writing humor is currently a lot harder. Anyway, the festive season is cheering me up again, and I'll be back on track soon. The next update will hopefully come before Christmas. Which is odd, since I finished Fall of The Sea God in three months and this one has taken me more than a year. Anyway, see you next time.**

**Hiba: Thanks for the rewievs. I will try to include more romance in the story, but Percy currently has a lot to deal with, and is still pretty much confused about everything.**

**Ocean of Dreams: Oddly enough, I'd did quite well on the govermently standerdisted test, expects for my essay where a tornado hits my house and my dad accuses me of smoking pot. For some reason, that did not go down well.**


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